TOEFL integrated writing: The sea otter

Sea otters are small sea mammals living along the western coast of North America. The passage states that in recent years the number of this animals declined in this area. Seemingly, passage believes environmental pollution is cause and provides three reasons. However, the professor explains that investigations proof pollution is not the reason and predation theory is logical and refutes all of author reasons.

First, the reading states that oil rigs and industries chemical pollution is the reason. On the other hand, the professor states if the pollution was reason they should found corps on the beach. However, any dead body of otters not founded. Thus the reason cannot be sea pollution.

Second, article claims that coincidentally with otters other sea mammals are disappeared. Author believes it cannot happen by Orcas because they hunt big animals like walls. However, the lecturer contends that it could have done by Orcas and mentions due to lack of walls, which was disappeared by humans, Orcas have changed their diet ant hunt small mammals like seals and sea lions.

Third, the reading avers that pollution can be the cause because this event happened just in some places and these places can be the dense of pollution. The lecturer opposes this point by saying that this is the evidence for Orca's theory because some exception places which are not attacked by Orcas are some rocky and shallow locations. She says because Orcas are big they cannot access to such places and for this reason in these locations the number of otters have not declined.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Sentence: The passage states that in recent years the number of this animals declined in this area.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and animals

Sentence: Seemingly, passage believes environmental pollution is cause and provides three reasons.
Description: The fragment is cause and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cause with adjective

Sentence: On the other hand, the professor states if the pollution was reason they should found corps on the beach.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to should and found

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 259 250
No. of Characters: 1281 1200
No. of Different Words: 131 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.012 4.3
Average Word Length: 4.946 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.289 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.683 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.574 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4