In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer.
Many people from teenager and adult want to be a success person. They do all their best to reach it with their own ways. Hard work, positive thinking, and creative are one way to make your dream come true. Beside that, they should have commitment because I think it is the key to get success. Commitment is person's feeling and attitude. In other word, commitment is similar to persevere.
First I see that there are many people around me have hard-work. They do all job or assignment with their best way. They also get achievement from it. But, some people do not have commitment. For instance, I have sister who study abroad in Singapore. She is clever, funny, responsible, and friendly. I hear now she is become teacher assistant of International Culture. Her professor always gives her appreciate and high score in every single subject, A+. I can imagine how smart she is. But, I see from her attitude is not really good. Sometimes when I ask her to solve my problem, she do not answer clearly. She becomes guilty when she should give me answer. She is still labile.
I also think that every work-hard which you have already make is need commitment. It is very crucial as my view. Without it, you are nothing. You should be your self at that time. Nothing change when you have plan dance, you must dance. Do not influenced whatever people say and do. I have experience, when I should make decision about topic of final project. Almost my best-friend concern to manufacture. They ask me to join with them because we can share and discuss together. Actually, I do not have passion with it I feel bored and sleepy to learn. I open my eyes when I study marketing. I enjoy being marketer. Hence, I should make decision, togetherness or individually. Then, I prefer follow my heart than my friend. Marketing becomes part of my heart.
I think hard-working, commitment, and persevere should balance. Your success will comes more fast than you think. For example, two-week before I get mid-exam, I prepare for learning together. I study every night and every morning before go to college. I have commitment to myself that I do not play and holiday for several weeks. I should get high score because I promise with my mother about it. When the day of test is come, I focus to do well. I feel I can finish well and I very satisfy. One week later, I see the announcement and scream that I get best, perfect score. I aprreciate myself.
In conclusion, hard-work is one path to get success. It should support with commitment and persevere. Nobody can change your mind so your mind just follow your heart, no other influences.
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Sentence: Nothing change when you have plan dance, you must dance.
Description: The fragment Nothing change when is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace change with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: I think hard-working, commitment, and persevere should balance.
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to persevere and should
Sentence: Your success will comes more fast than you think.
Description: The word will is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to will
Sentence: I aprreciate myself.
Error: aprreciate Suggestion: appreciate
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 9.872 21.0 Need more compound or complex sentences.
Sentence Length SD: 3.412 7.5
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 47 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2073 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.468 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.455 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 9.872 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.412 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.362 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.417 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5