Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their brunches, offices and factories in order to develop their economies. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead. Discuss both views and give your own

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Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their brunches, offices and factories in order to develop their economies. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Submitted by Justin on Thu, 08/27/2015 - 13:49

The corporate sector is progressing by leaps and bounds since the whole world has turned into a global village. Presently, some people assert that inviting international companies to establish branches in native countries is lucrative to boost the economy for developing nations. By contrast, others claim that endorsement given to local companies is more worthwhile than than the former idea. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my own perception.

There are numerous points to shore up the former view. First and foremost, the existence of international corporates is supposed to b...

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Comments

Sentence: By contrast, others claim that endorsement given to local companies is more worthwhile than than the former idea.
Description: The fragment than than contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:

increasingly exchange of foreign revenue,
an increasing exchange of foreign revenue,

flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.017 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1912 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.21 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.885 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.682 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.278 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.253 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.017 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Look at this sentence:
Besides this, increasingly exchange of foreign revenue, import and export, and commercial dealings will strengthen the budget of a country.

they are parallel; so exchange is noun. , then it should be 'an increasing exchange' or 'increasing exchanges'.

if you use 'exchange' as verbs, then you can use increasingly:

They increasingly exchange ideas.

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about coherence, look:

To be specific, majority of masses will have the only choice to use cultural goods in the absence of foreign industries.

Apart from it, local companies could manufacture the vintage products if these are supported by the administration.

Hence, it is a capital idea to assist local enterprises than inviting outer factories.

Moreover, an gigantic loss to the profits of local business runners could be the result of inviting foreign companies.

every sentence is independent and there are no strong connections between them.

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Overall, it is a nice essay.