TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

Essay topics:
TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo
-vv-'s picture
Submitted by -vv- on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 19:52
In ancient Greek, a working day only demanded half of the day and the rest of it should be spent on enjoyment and relaxed time to achieve a healthy life. On the contrary, it is seem that modern times go to the opposite direction. Far away from having more time of enjoyment, we are forced to work longer hours and be able to pay our bills or reach the social status desired. Saying that, I disagree with the statement above proposed. In my own experience, working hard and spending less time for personal enjoyment is the normal thing to do to support my family and reach a decent level of living.

Fist of all, the reality of our actual society demands extraordinary expenses for a middle class family group. The provider of a family finds himself or herself doing extra hours work to be able to pay all of his/her bills. Furthermore, when the working day in an office is done at the end of the day, a lot of women have to take care of the family at home, cleaning, cooking, and laundry, so very few free time can result from that agenda. In addition, I can illustrate this idea with my own experience as a single mother. I work all the weekdays with long hours, and during the weekends, I have to do all the chores a house demands. Thus, I have very few time to relax and spend time with my children as I would like.

Secondly, not only adult's life demand so many hours of working, but younger people also have to face a challenge about their own free time. The pressure younger people have looking to get a better job, push them to persue a college and a university career. Correspondingly, young people have a great demand of hours of classes, study, and traning.

Finally, I have to remark that we live in a consumed society and enjoyment activities are also part of the market. As a result, they can be expenses too. For instance, running can be a free activity if you like to do it in a public park, but to do it properly, you have to have to buy running shoes to avoid hurt yourself. The cost of running shoes are increasing because of the demand and so on. To put it another way, free time can be very expensive, too.

In summary, I have to say that modern life is more complex and demanded than used to be. Sacrificing relaxing time for working or studying hours seems to be the new reality. In consequese I disagree with the statement above proposed.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 14, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Essay topics: TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you...
^^^
Line 2, column 89, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: People
...r disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal e...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 213, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Use
...rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo ...
^^^
Line 5, column 178, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'seemed'.
Suggestion: seemed
... a healthy life. On the contrary, it is seem that modern times go to the opposite di...
^^^^
Line 7, column 654, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'few times'.
Suggestion: few times
...ores a house demands. Thus, I have very few time to relax and spend time with my childre...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'adults'' or 'adult's'?
Suggestion: adults'; adult's
... as I would like. Secondly, not only adults life demand so many hours of working, b...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 266, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'have to'.
Suggestion: have to
...public park, but to do it properly, you have to have to buy running shoes to avoid hurt yoursel...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 282, Rule ID: BUY_VBG[1]
Message: Did you mean 'by'?
Suggestion: by
... to do it properly, you have to have to buy running shoes to avoid hurt yourself. T...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, if, look, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance, in addition, in summary, as a result, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2219.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 489.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.53783231084 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70248278971 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54903911142 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515337423313 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 698.4 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 89.6008250589 48.9658058833 183% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.863636364 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2272727273 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.27272727273 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.53405017921 154% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.382527226136 0.236089414692 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0861985901101 0.076458572812 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.14728690446 0.0737576698707 200% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217317660048 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.324186504982 0.0645574589148 502% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.35 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.