There is an opinion that suggest young crimes should be treated in the same as adults who commit crimes. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this idea since two reasons which is making young people worse and no effect.
Treating the young offending as adults can affect them worse. Firstly, it can make their health harmful. When they are prisoners, their families will be angry and even abandon them, so they can not be take care or encourage to solve in the difficult time and also become depress. For example, their families do not visit them and supply their basic demands such as nutritional food and clothes. Secondly, it makes their future opportunities decrease. In fact, social tend to isolate people who have been crimes, that is why they will difficultly find job or work with others in an impartial way. They also can not be rewarded which they deserve if they work well. Moreover, there are some job such as policeman and lawyer which do not accept them follow.
The other reason for no treating the young committing crimes in the same as old crimes is no effect. In the first, when they stay in prisons which they can have good conditions to meet other crimes and study each other new offending way, and as the result of it, they make more serious mistacks when they are free. Also, this treatment does not address origin of committing crimes such as malnutrition, poverty and poor education, so they repeat an offence. For example, people become crimes because they do not have enough money to buy food for their families, so after they are released, they can become worse and return to crimes. Moreover, this treatment can waste money since governments must spend money to support their essential demands.
In conclusion, I believe that treating young people who are commit crimes in same as adults who commit crimes is no effect and making them worse.
- Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. 78
- Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 56
- Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures.Do you agree or disagree? 78
- Last year you attended a presentation skill course at the Sydney College of Australia. Your new employer has asked you to provide copies of your reports and assignments as quickly as possible.Write a letter to the director of the school. In your letter, e 61
- Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 67
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'solving'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: solving
... they can not be take care or encourage to solve in the difficult time and also become d...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 576, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an impartial way" with adverb for "impartial"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ifficultly find job or work with others in an impartial way. They also can not be rewarded which th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 690, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'jobs'?
Suggestion: jobs
...hey work well. Moreover, there are some job such as policeman and lawyer which do n...
^^^
Line 7, column 53, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...n, I believe that treating young people who are commit crimes in same as adults who com...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, for example, in conclusion, in fact, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 24.0651302605 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 23.0 41.998997996 55% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1559.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 325.0 315.596192385 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79692307692 5.12529762239 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3000200668 2.80592935109 82% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 176.041082164 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501538461538 0.561755894193 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 474.3 506.74238477 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 5.43587174349 221% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.2952481363 49.4020404114 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.4375 106.682146367 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3125 20.7667163134 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.6875 7.06120827912 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.67935871743 35% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.9879759519 276% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283384516332 0.244688304435 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116774586687 0.084324248473 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.161203416581 0.0667982634062 241% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.275724603956 0.151304729494 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.163037841873 0.056905535591 287% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 13.0946893788 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 50.2224549098 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.4159519038 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.58950901804 91% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 78.4519038076 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.