The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation int the UK in the year 2005.
The graph is about the percentages of types of occupation of British men and women in 2005. It is clear that the highest among the proportions of men was skilled trades, whereas, it was administrative and secretarial for women.
A fifth among male workers were seen to be associated with skill trading. This is the commonest occupation for them. However, this is only 2% for females. Furthermore, males who process, plant and operate machines were 12% they are 10% higher with their female counterparts. Meanwhile, the proportions between male and female are relatively similar, between 10% to 18%, for jobs such as managers and senior officials, professionals, associate professional and technical and elementary.
On the other hand, on some occupations, women's percentages were significantly higher. Firstly, administrative and secretarial was 22% for them but this is only 5% for men. Secondly, female sales and customer services are twice more than males. Finally, only 2% of males were in personal service and this was seven times more for females.
- Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefit 73
- Oil and coal are main sources of energy in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of renewable source of energy such as solar and wind energy are encouraged. Is it positive or negative? 90
- Some people think that travel helps gaining knowledge but others think that TV and internet play an important role in gaining knowledge. Discuss both views, and give your opinion. 57
- Space tourism Will it bring positive or negative effects on the world s development Give your own opinion Use example based on your experience 81
- Some people believe that theoretical subjects should not be taught in universities because most student prefer to study practical subjects Agree or disagree 79
Sentence: It is clear that the highest among the proportions of men was skilled trades, whereas, it was administrative and secretarial for women.
Description: The fragment proportions of men is not usually followed by was
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace was with were
they are 10% higher with their female counterparts.
Suggestion: they are 10% higher than their female counterparts.
Sentence: Firstly, administrative and secretarial was 22 for them but this is only 5 for men.
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by was
Suggestion: Refer to secretarial and was
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.273 21.0
Sentences need to be polished.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 168 200
No. of Characters: 851 1000
No. of Different Words: 104 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.6 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.065 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.962 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 55 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 48 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.166 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4