The bar chart below illustrates the use of tobacco products by secondary school students in the US.
The graph is about American students, particularly secondary students and their percentage of use of different tobacco products. Overall, high school students have higher percentage in all kinds of tobacco. It can be clearly seen that the use of any types is the largest among the proportions.
Using any forms of tobacco products is 35% for high school students, wherease this is only 13% for those students in middle school. Kreteks' use is at around 3% for middle school but this is only half for students in high school. This is similar for the proportions that can be seen for both students that are smokeless.
However, cigarettes ranked second among the highest results for both students, high school (27%) and middle school (9%). High school users are three times more than middle school. Meanwhile, the use of pipe for the two is equivalent at about 3%. For cigars and bidis, high school use is double than middle school use. High school use of cigars is 15% and the use of bidis is just over 5%.
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High school users are three times more than middle school.
Suggestion: High school users are three times more than that in middle school.
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.528 7.5
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 175 200
No. of Characters: 798 1000
No. of Different Words: 83 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.637 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.56 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.334 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 34 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 11 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.528 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.182 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.48 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.631 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4