The family plays vital and special role in our life. However,In modern days,the majority of people claim that the value of extended family has become less essential than it used to. From my point of view, i strongly agree that the importance of extended family has lost, as it leads to vanishing culture.
To begin with, it is clear that we live in a technology era, which is a one of the reasons that force us to lose the connection among our families. First, the contemporary children squander their times by surfing on Internet. As people, especially kids, addicted to social networks, they are unable to can take their attentions from computers. Thus, they do not have time to talk and spend their valuable times with their family members, such as grandparents, uncles, aunts just to name few. In addition, children, who wants to hang out with their families, do not have common interests with familiy members. It is because that, grandparents are unaware of contemporary world, and they cannot enjoy each others company. As a result, the connection between older and younger familiy members will descend.
When it comes to second reason, it is the lack of time. It is truly known that nowadays teachers , proffesors just to name two , overloads students a lot. Therefore, students busy with their studies and can not find a time to talk with their families. In addition, the majority of students are constantly involved in after school sports and activities that take up most of their time. Because of trying to get good grades, test scores and after school activites are reasons to reduce the importance of extended familiy.
To sum up, in the past the extended family is more worthwhile for people, while in modern days this value has decreased because of lacking time and not sharing the same interests.
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- Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion 89
- Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. 70
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People may have different
People may have different perspectives about family ties. While some people believe that strong family relationships between extended family members exist, some others believe that such relationships are getting weaker with newer generations. In my opinion, individuals now a days feel that their relationships with their extended family members are not important, and they are not willing to give it a priority and that is because of several reasons.
First, many family members in extended families are living away from each other. One common saying in my language states that " away from site is away from heart" such saying indicate that we tend to lose affection as we get away from our loved ones. For instance, when I was young, I use to live close to my cousins. However, when I grow up, I moved away to another country, Thus, I was not seeing them as often as I use to in the past. As a result, we rarely contact each others now a day and our relationship become more formal.
Secondly, we are living in an era where the family size is getting smaller with each newer generation. While in my grandparents generation, parents were having many kids, in my generation people are having very few kids. One reason for that is the difficulties of life. the latest research has shown that in the US on average a child cost the parents about one hundred and eighty thousand dollars before he reaches the age of eighteen. On the other hand, the cost of raising children in the past was less than half that amount. Thus, parent are having less and less kids with each new generation. For example, I have eight uncles and aunts form from my mother side and the same number from my father side. Which makes a total of 16 uncles and aunts from both side. However, parents now a days are having not more than two or three children. As we can see. it very obvious that people cannot afford to have as many kids as they use to do in the past, and similarly, it is very obvious that priorities have changed because life is getting more complicated.
Finally, extended family members seek to live more independent life. Brothers who were living in the same family building look to be more independent and have a private life. Therefore, as the children grow up, parents move out from the family building to have their own house. For example, my friend was living with his family in a four apartment complex. The parents were living in one apartment, and the three siblings were living with their families in the other three apartments, As the business of my friend grow, he felt that he needs to be more independent from his siblings, Thus, he build a house of his own and move to a more independent life.
In conclusion, extended families is becoming less important because family members are no more living in proximity to each other. Moreover, the smaller number of families members makes such ties with each other much weaker.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 61, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , In
...al and special role in our life. However,In modern days,the majority of people clai...
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Line 1, column 76, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...role in our life. However,In modern days,the majority of people claim that the value...
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Line 2, column 645, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs. It is because that, grandparents are unaware of contemporary world, and they ...
^^
Line 2, column 705, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...orary world, and they cannot enjoy each others company. As a result, the connection be...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...younger familiy members will descend. When it comes to second reason, it is th...
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Line 3, column 102, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...It is truly known that nowadays teachers , proffesors just to name two , overloads...
^^
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s teachers , proffesors just to name two , overloads students a lot. Therefore, st...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, second, so, therefore, thus, while, in addition, such as, as a result, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1507.0 1977.66487455 76% => OK
No of words: 308.0 407.700716846 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89285714286 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18926351222 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54799711185 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.581168831169 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 466.2 618.680645161 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.1547036633 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.1875 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.25 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.1875 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151876107055 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0459152311459 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.069590446404 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118460417922 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104742457627 0.0645574589148 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.