TOEFL integrated writing: Endotherms

The reading states that the dinosaurs would be an endothermic animals, which can maintain their body temperature constantly regardless, of the environmental temperature change exactly like humans and other mammals.The passage provides various reasons to support. However, the lecture doesn't agree with this and casts doubts about the points that the reading had mentioned.

Firstly, the reading states that the dinosaur fossils at polar region indicates that the dinosaurs had an ability to maintain their body temperature constantly like a man in cold climates, which is the characteristic feature of endothermic animals.However, the lecture argues about this point and says that the weather at polar region at that time was warmer than today.So, it would be possible for the animals to survive in that region when they are not endotherms. Then, when the weather started to be colder, the dinosaur would migrate to the regions that are warmer or hibernate by using various modern techniques.

Secondly, the reading mentions that the dinosaur had another important feature that was having legs under the body, not on side ways of the body like other modern reptiles like crocodiles. AS the dinosaurs need heavy energy to run and have active movements in order to keep their body warm this was very helpful. In contrast , the lecture opposes this statement because the dinosaurs were gigantic creatures, so they had their legs under their body in order to support their weight and not for running.

Finally, the reading states that the dinosaurs had Haversian canals in their bones, which was one of the important characteristic feature of endotherms. In contrariety, the speaker argues that the dinosaurs had Haversian canal along with growth rings. These growth rings are thickening of bones when the dinosaurs were rapidly growing.They are evident. These growth rings show rapid growth followed by no growth to slow growth.This indicates that the dinosaurs did not grow rapidly and constantly as other endotherms. So, these all reasons indicates that the dinosaurs were not endothermic animals.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: So, these all reasons indicates that the dinosaurs were not endothermic animals.
Description: The fragment reasons indicates that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace indicates with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive

flaws:
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages or as less as possible.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 337 250
No. of Characters: 1728 1200
No. of Different Words: 157 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.3
Average Word Length: 5.128 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.51 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.606 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.426 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.647 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Thanks for your comment. I have 3 more weeks for my TOEFL exam and I got very less score in integrated writing. I am doing better in other areas like reading, listening and speaking. I think I am weaker in writing & this is my first essay on integrated writing. I had submitted 3 or more essays on independent writing and I had scored just 24 out of 30. So, please do guide me and suggest me what more i have to do to improve my score in writing.

In your essays, you put a lot of content from reading passages, that's wrong. Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages or as less as possible (or in a smarter way).

Read sample essays from ETS and try to follow its way:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster

you can also read integrated essays from other users.

Let us know if you didn't get the points.