In the preceding argument, the owner of Movies Galore suggested its retail store to close earlier and reduce stock to cut expenses, based on good effects received from the store in downtown Marston. The strategies may sound reasonable at face, but many critical, yet ignored questions need to be addressed.
To begin with, the manager believes that raising price is not a good way to deal with profit drops, for special bargains are what Movies Galore is famous for. However, the manager doesn't make it clear if the price they offer is much lower than current market. If so, this might be one of the main reasons that cause declines in the profits. It's worth trying to raise the price while keep the special bargains.
Additionally, building upon the implication that the retail store in downtown Marston reduced expenses greatly by closing three hours earlier than usual, the manager asks other stores to do the same. However, there are many other factors that affect income and costs that should be considered. For example, the Marston store is located in downtown business area, so few customers visit at night. Conversely, if a store located in a living community closes earlier, it may lose most of its customers. Thus, a more detailed time schedule should be designed for each store after careful investigations.
Last but not least, the manager decided to reduce stock by eliminating movies released five years ago. The assumption here is that old movies are no longer popular and is just a waste of money keeping them in stock. One question may arise here is that some masterpieces are always welcoming, while other newer movies may not be that popular. As a result, it would be beneficial if the store throw away movies based on their sales statistics instead of release date.
Due to aforementioned evidences, although closing earlier and eliminating old movies might be useful strategies to deal with profit declines, more vigorous and thorough investigations is in need to come up with better plans for each store specifically.
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1659 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.489 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.227 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.573 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 181, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ore is famous for. However, the manager doesnt make it clear if the price they offer i...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, conversely, however, if, may, so, thus, while, for example, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1711.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 341.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01759530792 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58900605078 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.58357771261 0.468620217663 125% => OK
syllable_count: 537.3 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.5302740565 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.9375 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3125 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6875 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0885012890393 0.218282227539 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0302741144633 0.0743258471296 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0273981450558 0.0701772020484 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0538905833269 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0282648439841 0.0628817314937 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.