Doctors say that many people have health problems due to lack of physical activity. What is your opinion on this issue? What might be the reasons for this? What are the ways to improve the situation.
The health of the society is an important issue in developed countries. They believe healthy people can live their life better and they can see the result of that healthiness on families and the whole society. Unfortunately due to the hustle and bustle of life each day a greater number of people suffer from the diseases and problems which are caused by the lack of activity and it becomes an important challenge for the governors. They might be a few reasons for this problem which are mentioned bellow.
Undoubtedly the modern life style is the main reason for spreading lack of activity among people. The technology and machinery life make people lazy. They sit in front of their computers and do everything via internet such as paying their bills, ordering their foods and even shopping. In addition, using personal cars for commuting is another result of modern life style. Moreover, the computer games are becoming a replace for physical games. For example children prefer to stay at home and play football on computer instead of going out and play it with others.
Generally speaking, to improve this situation special treatments and training should be done among individuals specially among youngsters and children. People should be informed about all the disadvantages and problems that they will face in the future.
To sums up, although modern life make many different things easier for us, it eliminates many good habits among people such as physical activities. Government should pay too much attention to this issue due to have a healthy generation in the future.
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Sentence: To sums up, although modern life make many different things easier for us, it eliminates many good habits among people such as physical activities.
Description: The fragment life make many is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Government should pay too much attention to this issue due to have a healthy generation in the future.
Description: check online how to use 'due to'
flaws:
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 7.48 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5