The internet advertising company's claim that there their services increase profitability is not sufficiently backed up by the example that they present. The success of the Furniture Depot could be due a a variety of reasons and there is a chance that the services of the internet advertising agency are not one of those.
The advertisement states that there has been an increse in the sales and that the Furniture Depot employed the services of the internet advertising agency. There is no evidence presented that the increse in sales was due to the internet advertising. A number of resons could be responsible for the increse in sales of the current year compared to the last year. The Furniture Depot could have introduced a new product which the buyers found to be innovative and price friendly and that might have resulted in more sales. There could have been a marked improvement in the quality of the products produced which woul have resulted in more people baying the products.
Increase in the number of outlet stores and setting up of an online shop for the products could also help explain the increase of sales. With more people having access to the products easily the probability of the sale of the product increases. Improvement in the supply and distribution of the products could have also played a role in increse of their sale. A better network of distributors would make the product availible in the market as soon as it is produced thus reducing the storage cost. A prompt restocking of sold out products could have helped inmaking the customer see the brand as a dependable one.
There could have been an improvement in the economy of the country resulting in the populace buying more. This increse could have been almost uniform in all sectors and its benifit could have been reaped by the Furniture Depot as well. Buying latest furniture could also have come into fashion recently due to promotion by some celebrities or due to increase in popularity of T.V. soaps showing trendy furniture.
Further, there is no evidence to show that the people who saw the online advertisement were those who bought the products from Furniture Depot. The customers could have come to know about the products through some other source such as a newspaper advertisement or through some previous customer. There is some chance that some of the people who saw the advertisement bought from the Furniture Depot, but, there is no data provided showing what percentatage of the total buyers had seen the online advertisement.
The argument would be stronger if it showed that a significant percentage of the buyers had seen the online advertisement. Providing data about the groth in sales of other furniture stores which didn't use the advertising service in comparison to the furniture Depot could also be provided.
- "The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstr 55
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: There is no evidence presented that the increse in sales was due to the internet advertising.
Error: increse Suggestion: increase
Sentence: A number of resons could be responsible for the increse in sales of the current year compared to the last year.
Error: resons Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: increse Suggestion: increase
Sentence: Improvement in the supply and distribution of the products could have also played a role in increse of their sale.
Error: increse Suggestion: increase
Sentence: A better network of distributors would make the product availible in the market as soon as it is produced thus reducing the storage cost.
Error: availible Suggestion: available
Sentence: A prompt restocking of sold out products could have helped inmaking the customer see the brand as a dependable one.
Error: inmaking Suggestion: imaging
Sentence: This increse could have been almost uniform in all sectors and its benifit could have been reaped by the Furniture Depot as well.
Error: benifit Suggestion: benefit
Error: increse Suggestion: increase
Sentence: There is some chance that some of the people who saw the advertisement bought from the Furniture Depot, but, there is no data provided showing what percentatage of the total buyers had seen the online advertisement.
Error: percentatage Suggestion: percentage
Sentence: Providing data about the groth in sales of other furniture stores which didn't use the advertising service in comparison to the furniture Depot could also be provided.
Error: groth Suggestion: growth
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flaws:
4 arguments are relatively duplicated. more arguments like:
1. it works for Furniture Depot , while it may not work for another business
2. it worked at last year, it may not work for this year...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 475 350
No. of Characters: 2319 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.668 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.882 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.689 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.732 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.611 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: a
...ess of the Furniture Depot could be due a a variety of reasons and there is a chanc...
^^^
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ess of the Furniture Depot could be due a a variety of reasons and there is a cha...
^
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: a; a
...ess of the Furniture Depot could be due a a variety of reasons and there is a chanc...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...rtising agency are not one of those. The advertisement states that there has bee...
^^^
Line 3, column 462, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ch the buyers found to be innovative and price friendly and that might have resul...
^^
Line 7, column 237, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'Buying the latest'.
Suggestion: Buying the latest
... reaped by the Furniture Depot as well. Buying latest furniture could also have come into fas...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 323, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ous customer. There is some chance that some of the people who saw the advertisement bought...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 196, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...n sales of other furniture stores which didnt use the advertising service in comparis...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, thus, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2363.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 474.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98523206751 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66599839874 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72014896992 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.424050632911 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 759.6 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.5737641902 57.8364921388 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 118.15 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.9 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.19303276323 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0744714873913 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0727646361359 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121970906105 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0602068320779 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.