Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The recommendation claims that people should enroll their children in Pirouettes Ballet School because it is apparently more competent than any other dance schools in Elmtown. It offers three arguments, in that the school has the most intensive program, the teachers have experience in famous ballet companies, and the graduates of the school have engaged in careers with top dance companies. Although on the outset, the argument seems reasonable, there are many unstated assumptions that first need to be addressed for the recommendation to be truly warranted.
First of all, the claim of having the 'most intensive program' is very ambiguous. The word 'intensive' can be appealing to a prospective student, but there are no details on which aspects of the education are intensive. Is it because the school holds longer class sessions? Does the school provide more one-on-one coaching? Is the school curriculum more focused on advanced courses? Unless specific information is given on why this school's program is more intensive than any other schools in the same district, this statement can be interpreted as an empty proclamation.
Extending further on a related note regarding the school's education, the fact that the teachers have dance experience in the most globally prestigious ballet companies doesn't exactly give sufficient evidence that the school's education will be commensurate in prestigious quality. Having skills and experience in world-renowned companies does not automatically guarantee that one will be as adequately qualified in teaching other people. It is a possibility that the teachers were simply naturally gifted and they learned ballet without difficulty. If they are faced with students who are not born with these talents, they might have to teach them with a different method from which they themselves were taught, and it could be a frustrating process. The teachers' education could even prove to be inefficient for these children if the aforementioned example is actually the case. Therefore, the school should promote more information on how teachers are able to tailor to each student's ability rather than their work experience.
Also, the information regarding prior students of the school becoming professional dancers is not an accurate indicator of the school's capabilities. The statement in the argument doesn't state that these students became professional 'ballet dancers,' but just 'dancers,' meaning that they could have become dancers in other fields of dance. If they are found to be working in hip-hop or jazz dance companies, it is highly unlikely that the school's education helped these graduates attain a career in those fields. Perhaps they attended other dance schools simultaneously when they were enrolled in Pirouettes School. Essentially, there is a likely possibility that the school's education was not effective in their becoming professional dancers.
In conclusion, even though the recommendation suggests a seemingly well laid-out argument regarding the competence of Pirouettes Ballet School, there are many unstated questions that need to be answered first. The argument lacks detail on how its programs are intense, the ability of its teachers, and the information of its graduates. These need to be addressed first.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-01 | himanshu mardikar | 59 | view |
| 2019-12-17 | srujanakeerthi | 77 | view |
| 2019-12-15 | Chayank_11 | 33 | view |
| 2019-12-05 | Opak Pulu | 69 | view |
| 2019-11-05 | Prudhvi6054 | 79 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
arguments are not exactly correct. for example, in the argument 1, we don't argue what is the 'most intensive program'? we may argue like:
not all kids need 'most intensive program'.
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see this sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/pirouettes-ballet-…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 508 350
No. of Characters: 2724 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.748 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.362 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.889 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 129 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 86 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.087 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.348 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... recommendation to be truly warranted. First of all, the claim of having the mo...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... interpreted as an empty proclamation. Extending further on a related note rega...
^^
Line 3, column 53, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...further on a related note regarding the schools education, the fact that the teachers h...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...t globally prestigious ballet companies doesnt exactly give sufficient evidence that t...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 220, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...actly give sufficient evidence that the schools education will be commensurate in prest...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 756, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'teachers'' or 'teacher's'?
Suggestion: teachers'; teacher's
... it could be a frustrating process. The teachers education could even prove to be ineffi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 978, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...how teachers are able to tailor to each students ability rather than their work experien...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ity rather than their work experience. Also, the information regarding prior st...
^^
Line 4, column 181, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...bilities. The statement in the argument doesnt state that these students became profes...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 437, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...mpanies, it is highly unlikely that the schools education helped these graduates attain...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 666, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
... there is a likely possibility that the schools education was not effective in their be...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n their becoming professional dancers. In conclusion, even though the recommend...
^^
Line 5, column 58, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('seemingly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('well') instead of another adjective.
...even though the recommendation suggests a seemingly well laid-out argument regarding the compete...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, apparently, but, first, if, regarding, so, therefore, well, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2769.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 506.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47233201581 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95203536613 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470355731225 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 847.8 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.690126094 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.391304348 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47826086957 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355507968757 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102119152463 0.0743258471296 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.08385447756 0.0701772020484 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207012429285 0.128457276422 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0828166592237 0.0628817314937 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 98.500998004 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.