A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. At present, the nearest jazz club is over 60 miles away from Monroe; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. In addition, there is ample evidence of the popularity of jazz in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly.' Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. We therefore predict that the C Note cannot help but make money.
The author of this argument claims that opening a jazz music club is lucrative. However, the author fails to provide readers with sufficient evidence.
First, the memo states that there is no jazz music club nearby in Monroe. Still, readers need the information of the probable location of this new jazz music club. If this club is on a place few people walking by, there is no hope that the club will be profitable, because no one knows its existence. Besides, we also demand the average number of walkers passing by this area. Without this average number, we are hard to know the number of potential customers here is enough to support a jazz music club.
Secondly, the author claims that a famous jazz festival attracted many tourists here last year to justify jazz is popular in Monroe. However, authors need further proof about the average number of tourists each year to persuade readers. Only one high record does not necessarily imply that the high popularity of jazz music in Monroe is long-lasting. Even granted that this jazz festival actually entices a large number of people to visit Monroe, we do not know that this jazz festival brings a steady flow of tourists. If tourists only come here for jazz music once a year, a club cannot survive without a steady stream of customers each month.
Thirdly, the author cites a national report that reveals a typical jazz fan has high purchasing power. Still, the author fails to show the average amount of money a jazz fan in Monroe will spend on jazz-related products or services. Without more details of this report, we cannot conclude that average number the author shows in this argument is similar to the average number of a jazz fan in Monroe will spend. It is because that the difference between each area may be significant.
To strengthen this argument, the author would have no provide more information as above mentioned.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-09-29 | SIAN | 69 | view |
| 2019-08-23 | numan947 | 82 | view |
| 2019-07-09 | luzhang | 77 | view |
| 2019-02-19 | dhjhkjsahd | 66 | view |
| 2019-02-15 | juliettepeng | 83 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 325 350
No. of Characters: 1528 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.246 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.702 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.334 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.118 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.286 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 55, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...hat this jazz festival actually entices a large number of people to visit Monroe, we do not know ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 11.1786427146 9% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1588.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 325.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88615384615 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43310501212 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.486153846154 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 491.4 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.9979454358 57.8364921388 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.4117647059 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1176470588 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.82352941176 5.70786347227 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255641771511 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0967801869084 0.0743258471296 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0648836866009 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124595555457 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0515325111761 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.