TPO-46 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and examp

Celebrities play a significant role in all societies. The famous people can influence different aspects of a society including cultural, political and economical perspectives of people. Some people hold the opinion that younger people are obviously more influenced by the elites than older people are, while, others disagree. Personally, I am inclined to believe that the former perspective is far superior than the latter one for some specific reasons of mine which I would elaborate them in the following paragraphs.
To begin, young people tend to highly follow celebrities comparing with older individuals who are not interested in them. As a young person, it is more probable for you to involve in social media such as the Instagram, Twitter or Facebook where the celebrities nowadays prefer to take actions to influence there countless followers who are mostly in their twenties or thirties. Therefore, inevitably you as a follower will be affected by their thoughts, believes and even details of their own lives which they share with you in the form of the frequently posts. However, your parents who just spend some time in front of TV may not even recognize the name or face of the celebrities. For example, I have a 14 year-old nephew who knows almost all biographies of Hollywood celebrities and whenever there is a post on a page of a celebrity such as Jennifer Lopez, he would talk about it for some days. As you can see youngsters are more affected by famous people.
There is a furthermore subtle point which we should consider, older people have they own strict believes and minds. I believe that they have already experienced a lot in their life and it has firmly shaped their thoughts and believes. As a result, it is unlikely that they change their mind by someone's influences either a celebrity or a usual individual. For example my father who is in his sixties always think that celebrities are just doing some activities to get fame and money. Consequently ,he sticks to his rules and thoughts. On contrary, I would get readily influenced because I am more emotional and flexible than my parents. This is why I hold the opinion that celebrities have a great impact on youngsters.
In conclusion, whether highly following them or having flexible thoughts, I strongly believe that youngster can be influenced easily by the celebrities. Additionally, we, youngsters, should take it into account that sometimes celebrities may be not a good source of knowledge and information.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 408, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
... the former perspective is far superior than the latter one for some specific reason...
^^^^
Line 2, column 400, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nties or thirties. Therefore, inevitably you as a follower will be affected by th...
^^
Line 2, column 901, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
..., he would talk about it for some days. As you can see youngsters are more affecte...
^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'beliefs' (noun) instead of believes (verb)?
Suggestion: beliefs
...ider, older people have they own strict believes and minds. I believe that they have alr...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 497, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ties to get fame and money. Consequently ,he sticks to his rules and thoughts. On ...
^^
Line 4, column 294, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...od source of knowledge and information.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, while, for example, in conclusion, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2084.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 415.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02168674699 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89035717693 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53734939759 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.7899015815 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.684210526 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8421052632 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05263157895 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192593150899 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0594267162024 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0542188727817 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115021048477 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0639935813778 0.0645574589148 99% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.