“Bayside citizens need to consider raising local taxes if they want to see improvements in the bay side school district. Test scores, graduation and college admission rates and a number of other indicators have long made it clear that bayside school district is doing a poor job educating the youth. Our school looks rundown. Windows are broken, bathrooms unusable, classroom equipment hopelessly out of date. Yet just across the bay, in New Harbor, school facilities are up-to-date and in good condition. The difference is money; new harbor spends twenty seven percent more per student than Bayside does, and test scores and other indicators of student performance are stronger in New Harbor as well.”
Based on dubious premises and insufficient evidences like the poor condition of infrastructure and lack of money investment is the factor of Bayside students poor performance, the author concluded that investing money by increasing local tax is the wayout from the situation.
First of all , the author raises an argument that for developing the bayside school district the district should increase the local taxes in the district.This weak and unwarranted suggestion does not provide a correlation between the fund for development of school and local tax increase.It would have been more profound if the author provides us the detailed running cost and the deficit they are having in the development in the school. There might be the case that district already have enough money but they does not allocate it properly for the school development purpose.
The argument also raised many unanswered questions like what is the background of the students? what measures been taken in the early semesters to improve the situation? is there any other reason behind this poor result or only the infrastructure only responsible for this? Without answering this questions, the reader may be left with a feeling that the conclusion made by the author are more of a wishful thinking than substantive premises.
The author provided the example of the New Harbour school performances and their expenditure details of each student.This premises also do not hold strong ground. As stronger is a relative word but we do not know the exact test scores and other indicators of that school. It would have been stronger if the author had provided the results statistics as well.And in which aspect this extra money is being invested that is also unknown to bayside school. Therefore, the conclusion made by the author is totally gratuitous.
Because the argument has made several unwarranted assumptions, the author fails to make a convincing case of the investment of money is the only solution to Bayside school. To bolster this, the author should provide a more detailed study about the Bayside as well as the New Harbour school.
- Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy the relative ease of finding a job and the salary they can expect to make Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or 75
- Students are more responsible for their education than their teachers 45
- We venerate loyalty - to our schools, employers, institutions, friends - as a virtue. Loyalty, however, can be at least as detrimental an influence as it can be a beneficial one. 50
- “Bayside citizens need to consider raising local taxes if they want to see improvements in the bay side school district. Test scores, graduation and college admission rates and a number of other indicators have long made it clear that bayside school dis 74
- "While some leaders in government, sports, industry, and other areas attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition, a society can better prepare its young people for leadership by instilling in them a sense of cooperation." 66
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly. better to say: suppose it works for A, while it may not work for N.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1741 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.003 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.95 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.406 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.691 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ayout from the situation. First of all , the author raises an argument that for ...
^^
Line 3, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...ncrease the local taxes in the district.This weak and unwarranted suggestion does no...
^^^^
Line 3, column 289, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...opment of school and local tax increase.It would have been more profound if the au...
^^
Line 3, column 513, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
...rict already have enough money but they does not allocate it properly for the school...
^^^^
Line 4, column 96, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...what is the background of the students? what measures been taken in the early semest...
^^^^
Line 4, column 170, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
...rly semesters to improve the situation? is there any other reason behind this poor...
^^
Line 5, column 117, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...eir expenditure details of each student.This premises also do not hold strong ground...
^^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'results'' or 'result's'?
Suggestion: results'; result's
...stronger if the author had provided the results statistics as well.And in which aspect ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 358, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: And
...provided the results statistics as well.And in which aspect this extra money is bei...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, therefore, well, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1776.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 344.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16279069767 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80402986626 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.511627906977 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 540.9 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 96.0089369607 57.8364921388 166% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.615384615 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4615384615 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.53846153846 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227778309378 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0796449822653 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0582913853112 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124245885763 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0653540156827 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 29.0 12.3882235529 234% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.