The writing here has many flaws, because it has no actual fact backing these statements. Many conclusions are blindly drawn like the increasse in the number of homeowners in Corporateville cannot be considered as the reason to move the headquarters there.
Firstly, it is to naive to conclude that the surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Middlesburg is a better place for a headquarters. The reason for the increase in the number of house owner is not know may it is because the government is distributing land to the retired employees or providing a temporary homes for the poors. If this is the case it could be desaster to move the headquarters there as it will be a bad environment to work.
Secondly, Middlesburg, the urban area is a better place to work in as there are commercial place arounf around it will be easier to get secondary works done. And the survey by employee who prefer to work in no urban area is to dilute fact as the number of people in the poll is not mentioned. maybe the people who want to move to non urban people are newly married or old people. And moving so would make them stay close to their home and work less therby decreasing there productivity.
Likewise, the passage claims Middlesburg as safe for no reason it is the urban place which is safer in reality. Also the note calims that taxes are lower in Corporateville this maybe because they dont have many basic facilities like proper sewage and and electricity whic acnnot be neglected. Or the neighbour hood is crocked that could be the reason for low taxes.
There is clearly more improvement needed in writing assumptions need to be avoided and supported by strong reassoning and facts. If the claims can be properly explained it the headquarters can be considered moving.
- "According to a recent report by our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies ac 23
- TOEFL TPO 18 - Integrated Writing Task 86
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- Teachers' salaries should be based on the academic performance of their students.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing an 50
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Many conclusions are blindly drawn like the increasse in the number of homeowners in Corporateville cannot be considered as the reason to move the headquarters there.
Error: increasse Suggestion: increase
Sentence: If this is the case it could be desaster to move the headquarters there as it will be a bad environment to work.
Error: desaster Suggestion: disaster
Sentence: Secondly, Middlesburg, the urban area is a better place to work in as there are commercial place arounf around it will be easier to get secondary works done.
Error: arounf Suggestion: around
Sentence: And moving so would make them stay close to their home and work less therby decreasing there productivity.
Error: therby Suggestion: thereby
Sentence: Also the note calims that taxes are lower in Corporateville this maybe because they dont have many basic facilities like proper sewage and and electricity whic acnnot be neglected.
Error: calims Suggestion: claims
Error: dont Suggestion: don
Error: acnnot Suggestion: cannot
Error: whic Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Or the neighbour hood is crocked that could be the reason for low taxes.
Error: crocked Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: neighbour Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: There is clearly more improvement needed in writing assumptions need to be avoided and supported by strong reassoning and facts.
Error: reassoning Suggestion: reasoning
---------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1457 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.64 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.753 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.619 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.627 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 52, Rule ID: ACTUAL_EXPERIENCE[1]
Message: Use simply 'fact'.
Suggestion: fact
... here has many flaws, because it has no actual fact backing these statements. Many conclusi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 16, Rule ID: TO_TOO[5]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...the headquarters there. Firstly, it is to naive to conclude that the surge in the...
^^
Line 2, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Middlesburg is a better plac...
^^
Line 2, column 224, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'known'.
Suggestion: known
...ase in the number of house owner is not know may it is because the government is dis...
^^^^
Line 2, column 332, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tired employees or providing a temporary homes for the poors. If this is the case...
^^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...of people in the poll is not mentioned. maybe the people who want to move to non urba...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ecreasing there productivity. Likewise, the passage claims Middlesburg as safe f...
^^
Line 4, column 113, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... urban place which is safer in reality. Also the note calims that taxes are lower in...
^^^^
Line 4, column 197, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... Corporateville this maybe because they dont have many basic facilities like proper ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 248, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
...any basic facilities like proper sewage and and electricity whic acnnot be neglected. O...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 129, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...pported by strong reassoning and facts. If the claims can be properly explained it...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, likewise, may, second, secondly, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1484.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 314.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72611464968 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82045523758 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506369426752 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 475.2 705.55239521 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.488025299 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.0 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4285714286 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.71428571429 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158981774308 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.059468184607 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0768014771951 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0902724120747 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0611773839626 0.0628817314937 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.