Government expenditure is one of the most important fact in social activity and should be managed with consideration and deliberation. Some people believe that, government should subsidize arts more than athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. From my vantage point, I think that government should assign money to athletics activity more and in what follows the most persuasive reasons are drawn.
The firs compelling reason corroborating my idea is that athletics activity increase and strengthen the soul of happiness in people. The more happy the society, the more active and enthusiastic the society become. As an old saying in Persian language says “Happiness is the source of job and activity in one society". By way of illustration, according to the results of recent research program conducted in Sharif University of Technology-Tehran, athletics activity encourage common people to be the same as they are. In this regard the whole people of society trying to imitate their activity and this is the place in which people life expectancy increases and they seek more dream to delve. Therefore, as the example shows, the happiness and activity of a society increases.
The second exquisite point mentioning here is that, the repercussion of popularity is in monetary matter too. Actually, a famous person can be like an important emblem and advertise his country. By considering this issue, people all around universe hope to see the home town of this athletics and this is a place where the tourist industry increases. Take Cristiano Ronaldo as case in this point. He is the winner of the best football athlete for more than five years. Either my family member or all people in my country hope to see this athlete country and go in Portugal where he was born. Had it not been as famous as he is, the country would have not been able to benefit it commercial importance for tourism industry. Therefore, one famous emblem can increase the income of a society and hence it is deserve to invest money on athletes.
The last notion deserving to mention is that athletics who are much more powerful to win Olympics medal- specifically the gold medalists- could change the thought of world at least for short period of time about his country. Take famous Persian Olympic medalist ''Takhti" as an example. Thirty years ago, before he wanted to go to London Olympics, Iranian neighborhood country believed, as all people around the world did, that Iranian are bad in fairness and are the first belligerent country. Nonetheless, "Takhti" manifested so much humble in his wrestling competitions and never work with infirm part of his competitor for the sake of morality. This picture clearly shows that those rumor and propaganda about Iranian people are false. Therefore an athletics is much more important to deal with by considering money or other his needs since he can deteriorate those rumor-monger who want to denigrate the well-being of a society.
All in all, as the above mentioned examples have illustrated, government should allude more money to athletics. Not only does it increase the happiness of a society and increase governmental income, but also it does help to remove terrible imaginary picture of a country.
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- Integrated TPO 44 78
- TPO 1, Integrated Writing 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 279, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...d universe hope to see the home town of this athletics and this is a place where the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 806, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'deserved'.
Suggestion: deserved
...the income of a society and hence it is deserve to invest money on athletes. The las...
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Line 7, column 192, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...the thought of world at least for short period of time about his country. Take famous Persian ...
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Line 7, column 308, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...i' as an example. Thirty years ago, before he wanted to go to London Olympic...
^^
Line 7, column 352, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fore he wanted to go to London Olympics, Iranian neighborhood country believed, a...
^^^
Line 7, column 757, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...paganda about Iranian people are false. Therefore an athletics is much more important to ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, nonetheless, second, so, then, therefore, thus, well, at least, i think, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2741.0 1977.66487455 139% => OK
No of words: 531.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16195856874 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80035803286 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95327450875 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 212.727598566 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514124293785 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 886.5 618.680645161 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.4340564672 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.64 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.24 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.19403455873 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0590840701407 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102858024976 0.0737576698707 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130697566144 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126661764564 0.0645574589148 196% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.