What person in history you would like to meet?
Where I to choose a person in history, I would like to choose Cyrus the Great. Undoubtedly he was one of the greatest men the history have ever seen. I choose him not only because he had the biggest empire of the world, but because he had some outstanding characteristics like as justice, brave spirit and will to make his territory a nice place to whom live in.
First of all, I am strongly impressed with his justice. In that era there was no room for justice and all the powerful men like kings and emperors had a lot of slaves. In addition, work labor was not an important issue to them. In this situation, Cyrus the Great omitted this discrimination and declared the equality of workers, whether Persian or not. This could be seen on carved inscriptions found from that time.
Secondly, I like a man with bravery characteristics, whether in a battlefield or his individual life. Cyrus the Great had this personality because he was never afraid of foreign attacks and their threats. Not only he defended his country against adjacent enemies, but he spread out his territory with great victories. I myself like this kind of men with strong paces.
Finally, his ever concerned will was to make his land a better place for people who lived there. He enacted some rules and assigned some of his trusted men for surveillance in each state. For example one of these rules was the payment that should be upon each worker's ability. Besides, after conquering a new country he never ruined the cities and never killed people but he let them free to live under his command and built some new buildings or repaired some of ruined places.
All in all, if I could have a chance, meeting Cyrus the Great would be my choice because I think that he was a heavenly spirit in a human body with all those characteristics that i like a man has, be hard inside and kind outside. Bravery with justice while you have thoughts about your subordinate people make you a man from sky, a prophet, no matter what others think about it.
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Sentence: Where I to choose a person in history, I would like to choose Cyrus the Great.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by to
Suggestion: Refer to I and to
flaws:
Don't use 'not only ... but also' a lot of times in one essay
Remove duplicate words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1611 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.463 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.489 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.086 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5