The writer asserts that building a new cafeteria with subsidized rates would help the college attract more international students and also increase the ranking of Darrington College. The writer supports this statement with the current scenario of the college. However more evidence is required to prove the statement.
Firstly, the writer has not provided evidence of the footfall and the prices of dishes in the existing cafeteria. Many factors can cause the low popularity of the existing cafeteria. The cafeteria may be located far from the main classroom and hence the students may find it unfeasable to visit the cafe. If price of the dishes is a concern, the administration can first run a trial of the subsidised dishes in the existing criteria. This would help ascertain the cause of the low footfall of the cafeteria and also to whether a new cafeteria is required.
Secondly, the type of dishes served in the cafeteria could also be a factor.The international students may prefer dishes from their own nations and inclusion of more international menu could help to attract more international students. Additionally the food quality should also be kept in mind as providing dishes in subsidised rate but lower quality would have adverse effects.
And finally the writer concludes that building a new cafeteria would increase the ranking of Darrington College. However it may also happen that the higher ranked colleges offer more course options to students which justifies international students opting for those colleges. Thus a comparison of the courses offered by higher ranked colleges with that of Darrington College would help get a better understanding of the situation and including additional courses would help in attracting international students and increasing the overall rank.
Hence the writer must consider the above evidences that may strengthen or weaken the argument.
- The following appeared in a memo from the director of International student affairs at Darrington College. "To better serve the international students being admitted to Darrington College, we should build a new cafeteria catering to the students at subsid 63
- The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura Sock Inc A recent study of our customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process which ensures that our socks are s 58
- A pet food company recalled 4 million pounds of pet food in response to complaints that pets that had consumed the food experienced vomiting lethargy and other signs of illness After the recall the pet food company tested samples from the recalled food an 60
- Recently Honey Bun replaced the use of sugar with aspartame, a sugar substitute, throughout its bakeries in the Northeast regions of the United States. Contrary to initial expectations, this change did not negatively impact our customer's preference. So f 77
- The effectiveness of a country s leaders is best measured by examining the well being of that country s citizens Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position 50
Essay evaluation report
also need to argue:
Building a new cafeteria will prevent this from happening and will certainly lead to a dramatic increase in the popularity of Darrington College.
Moreover, a new cafeteria will help Darrington College to justify an increased budget for educational iprovement this year.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 301 350
No. of Characters: 1574 1500
No. of Different Words: 141 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.165 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.229 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.808 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.658 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 261, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...th the current scenario of the college. However more evidence is required to prove the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 77, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...in the cafeteria could also be a factor.The international students may prefer dishe...
^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...to attract more international students. Additionally the food quality should also be kept in...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ease the ranking of Darrington College. However it may also happen that the higher rank...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 277, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...nal students opting for those colleges. Thus a comparison of the courses offered by ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...nts and increasing the overall rank. Hence the writer must consider the above evid...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1608.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 300.0 441.139720559 68% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87389785638 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 142.0 204.123752495 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.473333333333 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 504.9 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.3032186601 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.857142857 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4285714286 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.64285714286 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26219842578 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0914542353707 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0862194583476 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138469399009 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0815052185661 0.0628817314937 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.