Agree or disagree: if a university want to attract good students, it just spend a lot of money on social activity for students.

Essay topics:

Agree or disagree: if a university want to attract good students, it just spend a lot of money on social activity for students.

When we are study in university, our favourite part must be groups activities such as clubs, sports and other activities. Some people may say that if a university want to attract good students, it must spend a lot of money on social activity for students. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this statement shows in the prompt.
First of all, students can improve their social skills when they join some activities. Social skill is always extremely important for students because they will need to use it in their future career such as giving presentation to their boss or try to sell products to their customers. When students join some activities, they will have the chance to talk with people, and deal with people who do not have the same idea in a certain problem. For example, when I was in high school, I join a movie club. During the club, we will first discuss what movie we should watch, and after we watch the movie, we will discuss about the characteristic of each character in the movie. During the discussion, we will need to clearly describe our point to the other club members. Sometimes, we might have a different opinion, so we will need to deal with other people’s thought. This process will definitely help students improve their social skills and it will help them to have a better success in their future career. As a result, good students always want to become successful, so of course when the school provides more activities and clubs, they can attract many good students to come study in the university. Indeed, they should really spend more money on social activities.
In addition, if students attend social activities, they can develop a secondary skill. When more money are invested, the school can provided varies kind of clubs and teams. Therefore, students can have the chance to develop a second interest, and when they have a secondary skill, they can earn more money in the future. Take my dad as an example, when he was in university, his major is business. However, since the school also has a tennis team, he was also a member in the team. He is now being a business manager in a company, but during his free time, he also go out to the tennis court and teach tennis. In this way, because he has a secondary skill, he can earn more money than other people do. As a result, good students always want to learn more skills so they can earn more money in the future. Therefore, if the school provide varies kinds of activities, good students will definitely want to come. Thus, in order to attract good students, university need to spend lots of money holding activities.
Undoubtedly, some people may say that the school should not spend many money on activities for students, because students main goal is to study. If the university create too many activities, it can distract them from their studies and lean to a result of poor grades. However, students do not spend all of their time studying. They also need some time to relax and join some activities is definitely a better choice. Indeed, I think the must spend a lot of money on social activity for students.

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2019-01-16 Steven Huang 70 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 565, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'goes'.
Suggestion: goes
...pany, but during his free time, he also go out to the tennis court and teach tenni...
^^
Line 4, column 67, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...ay say that the school should not spend many money on activities for students, becau...
^^^^
Line 4, column 67, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much money', 'a good deal of money'.
Suggestion: much money; a good deal of money
...ay say that the school should not spend many money on activities for students, because stu...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, really, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, i think, in addition, kind of, of course, such as, as a result, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 32.0 9.8082437276 326% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2566.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 547.0 407.700716846 134% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69104204753 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50301930914 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.404021937843 0.524837075471 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 786.6 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 9.59856630824 229% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 13.0 3.51792114695 370% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.5380589182 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.6428571429 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5357142857 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.32142857143 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258063612896 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0938211730691 0.076458572812 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.152144056877 0.0737576698707 206% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.233680417653 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128769380778 0.0645574589148 199% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.48 8.01818996416 81% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.