what would you change about your hometown?

Essay topics:

what would you change about your hometown?

I live in a small city in the southeast of Iran. If I could change one thing in my hometown, without any doubt, I would like to build a large factory because people in my hometown live in a poor condition and construction of a new factory would help to relieve some of the problems that people confront with them. In the following paragraphs, I will shed light on arguments to supporting my views.
The first reason is that an establishment of a large factory assists to reduce the unemployment rate. For building a new factory, the company will need skilled workers like engineers, architectures, construction workers and so on. They would advertise to hire many people for some job positions. As result, they employed many people in their project. To illustrate that idea let’s consider the following example. My brother is architecture but already he cannot find a proper job for himself. Surely building a new factory is a great opportunity for him and others to get a job.
The second reason is that new factor will bring prosperity and enhance the standard of living. Construction of factory influence the income of residents. Workers of this factory receive a high salary. They will more affordable to spend more money on food, clothes and leisure time activity. Even the health of people will improve with an increase in their income, they’ll able to use a privet health service that before was very expensive for them.
Finally, the government would obtain more taxes to develop transportation infrastructure. Currently, many of roads in my city due to the minimal budget that considers for reconstruction the old road have not a good situation. New tax revenue will able the government to devote some part of this money to an improvement of the roads.
On the other side, some people say the new factory bring about pollution of air and water. While this idea can partly be true but with the progressing filters, the rate of pollution that the factory emits to environment decrease intensively. Others believe that new factory will impact on a cultural structure of our hometown but we cannot protect everything right the old shape, the world change and it is necessary for us to accustom we a new world.
By way of conclusion, base on the arguments explored above, despite some downsides, I am of the opinion that the foundation of the factory will have many advantages that outweigh comparing to disadvantages.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 262, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... of a new factory would help to relieve some of the problems that people confront with them...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at outweigh comparing to disadvantages.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, second, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2030.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92718446602 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8774740182 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52427184466 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 647.1 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.3104587852 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.2727272727 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7272727273 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.90909090909 5.45110844103 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.53405017921 132% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0828964834374 0.236089414692 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0199364957452 0.076458572812 26% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0421374547728 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0442438438359 0.150856017488 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050053308356 0.0645574589148 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.