In this statement the author analyzes the curent seafood dishes popularity in Bay City, in his conclusion, he suggests that the new openning Captain Seafood restaurant will be more poplular and profitable. While the evidence which he support his conclustion is insufficient and there are some loopholes in this statement, let's evaluate them carefully.
To begin with, the author does not analyze what is the new major consumers who made the consumption of seafood in the city increased 30 percent in the last five years. Without this point, the author's assuming that the majority of families contributed more in this consumption is too hasty. Maybe this city is an vacation place where attracted more travallers here during the past five years. So it would be significant for the author to make clear who makes this increasing at most part.
In addtion, without a professional seafood restaraunts, there was still a 30 percent increasing in seafood dishes consumption, the author should be cautious with this increasing. On one hand, maybe the existing restaurants are sufficient to meet the demands of people who feel like eating seafood.On the other hand, it may be an oppurtunity for new Captain Seafood restaurant to thrive. However, all of the operations should be based on specific survey of local situation, or the new openning restaurant will be precarious when they start business.
Finally,as the author refers to the local majority families are two-income families, who eat less at home while more concerning healthy food in a national scale, will be the main consumers of seafood dishes. However, the national wide survey does not represent the local condition. I can assume that there is a high possiblity that the two-income families in Bay City cook more at home because the survey is insufficient localy. Secondly, there is a huge catalog of healthy food which includes the seafood indeed. Given the choices vary significantly, even if the local two-income families feel like healthy food, they can also eat cereals, yogurt, chicken, cucumbers, etc. The author does not tell us the local two-income families' favor, so it would be arbitrary to make the conclusion that they will eat more seafood.
In conclusion, the author's evidence for this conclusion is insufficient, while there are other ways to be popular and the restaurant's profits is in determined by lots of factors besides the main dishes. The author should make an exhaustive survey to make clear the local market and people's favor, then to make further mearures which I assume more proper.
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- TOEFL T P O 49 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2105 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.988 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.499 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... author does not analyze what is the new major consumers who made the consumption...
^^
Line 3, column 311, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...mption is too hasty. Maybe this city is an vacation place where attracted more tra...
^^
Line 5, column 12, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... increasing at most part. In addtion, without a professional seafood restaraun...
^^
Line 5, column 299, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: On
... of people who feel like eating seafood.On the other hand, it may be an oppurtunit...
^^
Line 5, column 398, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... Seafood restaurant to thrive. However, all of the operations should be based on specific ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , as
...ous when they start business. Finally,as the author refers to the local majority...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, while, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2162.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14761904762 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76947239096 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478571428571 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.1572275406 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.176470588 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7058823529 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211941855845 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0758880192317 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0752281257426 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123154607019 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0732103726556 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.