In this letter, the head of tourism bureau on the island of Tria tells us the erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria it threatening this island and tourist industry, with the corraboration by the nearby island Batia's implement that replenishing the sands will be helpful to prevent sand erosion, the author recommends to charge the people for using the beaches. In this way the Tria's tourist industry will improve. This statement seem to be rational and operative while there are some loopholes which we should evalutate carefully.
To begin with, without the specific analyzation and further information, we can not find who will be resposible for the erosion of beach sand, meanwhile who are the majority people using the beaches. This is the origin of this affair because there is a high possiblity that other factors can also casue erosion like industy pollution or the air pollution. Likewise the people who using the beach may not be the group who make the ersion, it would be unfair to charge the people using the beaches.
What's more, even if this mearsure is practicing, so what is the standard in charging will also be controversial, as there are many kinds of people using the beach, some of them are travaller from other place and some of them are local people, is it necessary to charge the residents will be in doubt as some of them are taxpayers who already contribute to the island while it is also unfair that charging the strangers only. Thus this dilemma will trouble the local authority.
In addtion, how much money will be collected by charging the beach users? Given the author does not show us this prediction , I doubt is it enough to replenish the sand. Becasuse there may be little money collected from the users which is insffucient to make this protection, due to this charge, it may be less money in the future. At this point, the author purports that the nearby island Batia made this implement while the author does not tell us how about the effect of their protction. Besides, the author also does not tell us where their money for protection came from. Thus the recommendation collecting money from the beach users is not well supported by his evidence.
Finally ,the author predicts local tourist industry would improve in a long term.But with the loopholes we discuss previously, It should not work by charging people using the beach.Meanwhile the more important point is the tourist industry of island Tria was unknow to us with its constituiton, we can not merely guess people to this island just playing on the beach, because their maybe other compostions like food and entertainments in the Bar, even massages are also probable.
In conclusion, the author's recommendation is not well supported by his evidence, he should make a wide survey to find out a better plan for the proteciton.
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- TOEFL T P O 33 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 488 350
No. of Characters: 2302 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.7 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.717 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.482 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.02 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.615 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 153, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for the erosion of beach sand, meanwhile who are the majority people using the b...
^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rosion of beach sand, meanwhile who are the majority people using the beaches. T...
^^
Line 3, column 359, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Likewise,
...industy pollution or the air pollution. Likewise the people who using the beach may not ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...charge the people using the beaches. Whats more, even if this mearsure is practici...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 426, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...nfair that charging the strangers only. Thus this dilemma will trouble the local aut...
^^^^
Line 7, column 124, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... author does not show us this prediction , I doubt is it enough to replenish the s...
^^
Line 7, column 578, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...e their money for protection came from. Thus the recommendation collecting money fro...
^^^^
Line 9, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ll supported by his evidence. Finally ,the author predicts local tourist indust...
^^
Line 9, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...t industry would improve in a long term.But with the loopholes we discuss previousl...
^^^
Line 9, column 182, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Meanwhile
...work by charging people using the beach.Meanwhile the more important point is the tourist...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 182, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Meanwhile,
...work by charging people using the beach.Meanwhile the more important point is the tourist...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...re also probable. In conclusion, the authors recommendation is not well supported by...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, if, likewise, may, so, thus, well, while, as to, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2365.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 486.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86625514403 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61407352928 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448559670782 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 722.7 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 127.412163371 57.8364921388 220% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 147.8125 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.375 23.324526521 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.625 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301123973215 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101438368135 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0920212979833 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167603608076 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112122509362 0.0628817314937 178% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.56 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.