Do you prefer high-salary jobs that require you to leave your family and friends or low-salary jobs that allow you to stay with your family and friends?
There is not doubt that it is hard to choose among related people, such as family and friends, and jobs because they are incredibly important to our lives. Some people give family and friends to be first priority and do not want to leave them, even though they have to have low salary jobs. In my opinion, high salary job would be the first thing that I concern and would be the thing that indicates where I should live.
To begin with, having a lot of money provides us a comfortable and pleasant live. Although we need to leave your family and friends in order to obtain high income, extra money that we gain will offer our families to have desired lives. For example, I decided to move to The United State of America (U.S.A) from Thailand because I could increase income. In the mean time, I do not feel regret that I had to leave people whom I love and love me, because money that I earn gives them a happy and comfortable life. For instance, I can buy a beautiful house for my mother and I can buy brand name bags to my close friends. In contrast, if I work in Thailand, I would not be able to do that.
In addition, leaving from beloved people is not completely bad, but it helps us to be stronger in a harsh environment where nobody can nurture us. Due to in fact that when we have to fight for living and there is no people who love you can help you, we gain our strength and experience of life. For example, again, when I was in Thailand, I had an easy life and I hadn’t known about how to fight for living because I have my family and friends help me out. When I decided to work in U.S. A because I want to have more money, I experienced working hard and learned how to survive. From day by day, I become stronger and do not cry with little problems any more.
To sum up, it might be sad to stay away from whomever we love; but, actually, it is not absolutely bad if we consider that we will have chance to make family to have a comfortable life and we will gain the strength of life. Therefore, I truly believe the quote, “ no pain is no gain.”
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flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 401 while No. of Different Words: 187
Examples could be shorter but more arguments.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 401 350
No. of Characters: 1605 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.475 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.174 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.28 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.223 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5