Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The author of issue adduces that formal education harnesses the freedom of mind and spirit. This is the claim with which I generally do not concur. Among the countless reasons which give adherence to my perspective, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones in the following paragraphs.
The first striking point which should be considered is that freedom is based on the intrinsic willing rather than an external factor. In fact, whether a person is eager to seek freedom or possesses a free mind or spirit, are defined according to this individual’s internal manner. The main factors for the formation of internal willing can be listed as the genetic feature, treatment in family, and personal experiences. According to the noteworthy intelligent research conducted by the Psychology Department in the Tehran University, the feature of liberty seeking by an individual depends on the family conduct and personal experiences with thirty and fifteen percentage respectively. According to this research and discussed reason; making the connection between the educational system and freedom of mind and soul is not a wise action.
Another equal crux point which should be considered is the effectiveness of the education in brightening of the understanding. In other word, it is lucidly obvious that the main purpose of the formal educational system is providing the coalesce, proliferated, and informative atmosphere for enhancement of understanding and cognition by the people. Besides, the knowledge over a topic and issue is equal to shedding spotlights toward that particular information. Therefore, how it is possible to get a deep understanding of a topic and considered it equal to the restriction? Indeed, the chasm understanding is lightening the topic and novel realm for mankind, without which will be live in the domain of ineptitude and ignorance.
On the other hand, maybe the predefined scheme of the formal educational system which provides and highlights the specified information seemed a restricted zone which is against the main feature of liberty and freedom. This assertion while in the initial glance seems rational and logical; however, with precise consideration, its failures are bolded. Actually, there is main and basic principles and roles which define and control the world, this formal education is focused on these roles to make the students get more familiar with their surroundings. Consequently, there should be a specified program to deliver these data to pupils till they could get over them and with the combination of these main and basic principles with their imaginary thought, explore new realms in various fields.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons depict that formal education does not restrict the freedom of mind and soul, and other factors are effective at freedom. Besides, the basic education broadens human understanding from his environment and leads to the exploration of unknown areas.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 232, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... formal educational system is providing the coalesce, proliferated, and informative atmosphe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, besides, consequently, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, while, in fact, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2496.0 2235.4752809 112% => OK
No of words: 463.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3909287257 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05735119212 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518358531317 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 776.7 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.6553140359 60.3974514979 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.368421053 118.986275619 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3684210526 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57894736842 5.21951772744 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184174574551 0.243740707755 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0590673519202 0.0831039109588 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0362424801893 0.0758088955206 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10584223718 0.150359130593 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0304401795697 0.0667264976115 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.1392134831 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.8420337079 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.1639044944 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.53 8.38706741573 114% => OK
difficult_words: 138.0 100.480337079 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.