The following appeared in a letter from a university career center to recent alumni:
While our school's recent job placement rates have been dismal, there is hope on the way. National reports show that the economy has added over two hundred thousand jobs this quarter, and the capital markets seem to suggest that the economy will continue to expand rapidly. With the surge in hiring, there is no question that your Columbus State degree will lead toward gainful employment in the very near future.
The argument claims that the Columbus University's degree will soon lead toward gainful employment for the recent alumni despite the fact that the recent placement rates have been dismal. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that the economy has added over two hundred thousand jobs in the current quarter, and that capital markets seem to suggest that the economy will continue to expand rapidly. Stated this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Moreover, the conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that limited availability of jobs is the only factor responsible for dismal placement rates. However, it fails to take into account several other factors, which could affect the placement rates of the university. For instance, university curriculum and relevant industry exposure possessed by university alumni are factors that can have a great impact on the placement rates. It is possible that the quality of education at the university may have declined or university alumni may not be having the relevant experience, leading to dismal placement records. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly provided examples or reason to support this assumption.
Second, the argument claims that an expanding economy will definitely lead to a surge in hiring for the university alumni. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim because the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between expansion of economy and surge in hiring. To illustrate this, consider a situation in which the expansion in economy is due to increased productivity of the manufacturing sector, thereby creating more jobs for the unskilled labor. In such a scenario, though the economy will continue to expand rapidly, it will not result in more hiring opportunities for the university alumni. If the argument had provided evidence that an expanding economy will lead to increased hiring for the university alumni, the argument would have been a lot more convincing.
In order to strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide evidence that limited availability of jobs is the only factor responsible for dismal university placement records. In addition, information about the consequences of expanding economy on hiring opportunities for university alumni would further help in evaluating the argument. Without this information, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than a substantiated point.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts needed to assess the merits of the given situation. Without these facts, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-05-25 | Garima Badhan | 69 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2457 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.273 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.823 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.953 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 216, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... records. In addition, information about the consequences of expanding economy on...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, for instance, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 36.0 16.3942115768 220% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2513.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 466.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39270386266 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88519692372 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465665236052 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 814.5 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2591615475 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.666666667 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1904761905 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7619047619 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201878612958 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652706328276 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0642110343561 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11849483492 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0732775003833 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.98 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 98.500998004 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.