Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people thins this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In modern era, people possess many professions to survive in own live. Everything can do it if people can to implement. Many people work with our brain while others work with own muscle. In time, athletes get more benefits than employee. As we know, they have different method to do own job. Physical is more important than brain for athlete while brain and hard thinking is more important than physical for employee.
Athletes get more benefits like much money because they totally play become win and make own country proud of them. It make own country become famous in the world. The second, athletes sacrifes for have not formal education, have not spend time with family and friends and have not much time for holiday. Almost all time do more exercise. The last, athlete have big pressure from couch or government. Because of that, no athlete little died because stress and depression.
For employee comprise different make country proud of them. Employee work to make stabilization economic country in everyday. The important why employee need more benefits because employee work not only with brain but with physical too. For example, people who work in big company like pertamina. Employee must work everyday start in the morning until afternoon, have deadline, and get pressure from the leader. If the deadline was nearly, sometimes employee must work in extra time out the formal work time. For that, company not always pay for that extra time. The last reason, employee give knowledge implementation to country like build the high building, build bridge and build airport.
For the phenomenas, I would like to explain that government should to balance position between athlete and employee. Government make seminar that athlete and employee possess same important for expand the country. Government should to consruct cooperation between us. For example, doctor work in sport professionals school to help care about healty of athlete and give attention that physical condition. If athlete get injury, doctor can help it. The last, government can make one company specially the workers are athlete and employee. For example, In that company have employee make and control athlete schedule when athlete should to practice, accept the competion or study in formal education.
In the a nutshell, athlete and employee should to work together to build our country. The government must give support and help to make the professionals position in equilibrium.
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|---|---|---|---|
| 2014-03-04 | renofitriasari | 50 | view |
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if people can to implement.
if people can implement.
they have different method
they have different methods
Sentence: Physical is more important than brain for athlete while brain and hard thinking is more important than physical for employee.
Description: The fragment Physical is is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Physical with noun.
Sentence: The second, athletes sacrifes for have not formal education, have not spend time with family and friends and have not much time for holiday.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to for and have
Sentence: For employee comprise different make country proud of them.
Description: The word make is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to make
Sentence: Employee work to make stabilization economic country in everyday.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to stabilization and economic
Sentence: The important why employee need more benefits because employee work not only with brain but with physical too.
Description: The fragment employee need more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace need with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: The last reason, employee give knowledge implementation to country like build the high building, build bridge and build airport.
Description: The fragment employee give knowledge is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to like and build
Sentence: Government make seminar that athlete and employee possess same important for expand the country.
Description: The fragment Government make seminar is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, present tense, 3rd
Sentence: For example, doctor work in sport professionals school to help care about healty of athlete and give attention that physical condition.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to professionals and school
Sentence: If athlete get injury, doctor can help it.
Description: The fragment athlete get injury is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: For example, In that company have employee make and control athlete schedule when athlete should to practice, accept the competion or study in formal education.
Description: The fragment employee make and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: In the a nutshell, athlete and employee should to work together to build our country.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and a
Sentence: The second, athletes sacrifes for have not formal education, have not spend time with family and friends and have not much time for holiday.
Error: sacrifes Suggestion: scribes
Sentence: For example, people who work in big company like pertamina.
Error: pertamina Suggestion: pertain
Sentence: For the phenomenas, I would like to explain that government should to balance position between athlete and employee.
Error: phenomenas Suggestion: phenomena
Sentence: Government should to consruct cooperation between us.
Error: consruct Suggestion: construct
Sentence: For example, doctor work in sport professionals school to help care about healty of athlete and give attention that physical condition.
Error: healty Suggestion: health
Sentence: For example, In that company have employee make and control athlete schedule when athlete should to practice, accept the competion or study in formal education.
Error: competion Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 2011 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.053 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.425 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.724 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.192 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.345 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5