You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job.Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter,•introduce yourself•explain what experie

Essay topics:

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job.
Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter,
• introduce yourself
• explain what experience and special skills you have
• explain why you are interested in the job

Dear Sir,

My name is Vishal Bhat, I am a student of art at York University in Canada, I am writing this letter with regards to the notice I saw in BBC newspaper about work opportunity in your Museum shop for this coming month July.

I have worked for the London museum for 2 years as a desk representative in the past. I have complete knowledge of exhibition management. I was also arranging client meetings with the owners, plus records of visitors on daily basis. In addition to that, I have been awarded best employee of the month 4 times during my job in museum.

My education is quiet similar with this profession, this job will help me to gain some more experience on professional scale. Besides, it will also support me financially to aid my studies and other expenses. During holidays I do not have any commitment, thus this opportunity will make me to utilized my time also.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
Vishal Bhat

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Essays by user bhatvishal@ :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear Sir, My name is Vishal Bhat, I am a student o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ete knowledge of exhibition management. I was also arranging client meetings with...
^
Line 5, column 267, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'awarded the best'.
Suggestion: awarded the best
...basis. In addition to that, I have been awarded best employee of the month 4 times during my...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 311, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...tunity will make me to utilized my time also. I look forward to hearing from you...
^^^^
Line 11, column 17, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Vishal Bhat
^^^
Line 12, column 12, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...m you. Yours sincerely, Vishal Bhat
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, look, so, thus, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.48453608247 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 4.92783505155 61% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 5.05154639175 20% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 1.0 3.03092783505 33% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 32.9175257732 82% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 26.3917525773 99% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 3.85567010309 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 803.0 937.175257732 86% => OK
No of words: 170.0 206.0 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72352941176 4.54256449028 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.61087313685 3.78020617076 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71991883657 2.54303337028 107% => OK
Unique words: 115.0 127.690721649 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.676470588235 0.622605031667 109% => OK
syllable_count: 252.0 290.88556701 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.13402061856 131% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 1.44329896907 139% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 16.3608247423 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.3823979257 44.8134815571 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.3 76.5299724578 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0 16.8248392259 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.2 4.34317383033 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 2.54639175258 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 7.41237113402 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.94845360825 101% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207752803926 0.216113520407 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0753389615 0.0766984524023 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0685514783059 0.0603063233224 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116653378066 0.12726935374 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0597760686139 0.0580467560999 103% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 8.37731958763 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 70.7449484536 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 7.45979381443 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.8 8.71597938144 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 7.59969072165 111% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 41.2886597938 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 8.62886597938 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 8.54432989691 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.