The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a large, highly diversified company.
"Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two different regions. The buildings were erected by two different construction companies—Alpha and Zeta. Even though the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build, and its expenses for maintenance last year were twice those of the building constructed by Alpha. Furthermore, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been higher than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Such data, plus the fact that Alpha has a stable workforce with little employee turnover, indicate that we should use Alpha rather than Zeta for our contemplated new building project."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this memo, it is argued that the vice preseident suggests their company should cooperate with Alpha construction company instead of Zeta for the new building plan. The atuhor cites several evidence to prove the idea. Firstly, there were more expense of the buliding which the Zeta compnay built for the author's company than the Alpha did ten years ago both. Secondly, the mantainance of the building that Zeta constructed was twice as much as that Alpha built.Moreover, the energy consumption of the Zeta buliding was higher than Alpha's annually. Besides, the workforce is comparably stable in Alpha. However, the suggestion is probelmatic in that there are some loopholes in it.Also, more evidence of the background of the two bulidings and companies are needed to evaluate the conclusion. Let's reeaxmine the m carefully.
To begin with, the author does not expel the influence of the location which may cause various difference of the restults. As the two bulidings are located in two different places, there may be lots of local conditions different from each other.As the atuhor tells us there were more expense on the buliding erected by Zeta, the author does not tell us whether the other buliding conditions are identical with the Alpha buliding in the other palces. Thus we could not make the conclsuion that the Zeta compnay cost more merely on the construction consumption. As there maybe different price of the buliding materials and laborforces. The atuhor should mak more survey about these expense instead of focusing on the money the afford to the buliding company. Likewise, the more mantainace and energey consumption are not convincing to prove the Zeta company would cost the atuhor's company in that there are other facts except for the bulding company could affect these expense. Also, the atuhor does not show us obvious connections with the fees and the buliding companies.
In addtion, the time has passed ten years. While in this statement, the atuhor makes the advice with the pre-incidence that there have been no changes with the wtwo companies for ten years. In fact, whether there some changes taken place in these companies is still in question. So we need more evidence to prove the author's pre-incidence or more data from specific survey.
Finally ,the author argues that a company with little employee quited is a stable, and the atuhor contends this compnay is better than the companies with lots of employee jumped into other companies. While this assumption is not convicing in that there may be other reasons for the frequent workforce transefer in such companies, as well as the companies with stable workforce. There is a hgih possiblity that with more empolyees in and out, the Alpha company is suprior to the Zeta in that Alpha could recruit more fresh blood who could be more creative and efficient. The Zeta company, on the other hand, could have fewer workers who would not compete with the new employees in Alpha. After all, ten years with less employee turnover, the company could not be a promising one.
In conclusion, there are more data and evidence needed to prove the author's suggestion. The vice president should make more survey.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: In this memo, it is argued that the vice preseident suggests their company should cooperate with Alpha construction company instead of Zeta for the new building plan.
Error: preseident Suggestion: president
Sentence: The atuhor cites several evidence to prove the idea.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Sentence: Firstly, there were more expense of the buliding which the Zeta compnay built for the author's company than the Alpha did ten years ago both.
Error: compnay Suggestion: company
Error: buliding Suggestion: building
Sentence: Secondly, the mantainance of the building that Zeta constructed was twice as much as that Alpha built.Moreover, the energy consumption of the Zeta buliding was higher than Alpha's annually.
Error: buliding Suggestion: building
Error: mantainance Suggestion: maintainable
Sentence: Besides, the workforce is comparably stable in Alpha.
Error: workforce Suggestion: workhorse
Sentence: However, the suggestion is probelmatic in that there are some loopholes in it.Also, more evidence of the background of the two bulidings and companies are needed to evaluate the conclusion.
Error: probelmatic Suggestion: problematic
Error: bulidings Suggestion: buildings
Sentence: Let's reeaxmine the m carefully.
Error: reeaxmine Suggestion: reexamine
Sentence: To begin with, the author does not expel the influence of the location which may cause various difference of the restults.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: restults Suggestion: results
Sentence: As the two bulidings are located in two different places, there may be lots of local conditions different from each other.As the atuhor tells us there were more expense on the buliding erected by Zeta, the author does not tell us whether the other buliding conditions are identical with the Alpha buliding in the other palces.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: bulidings Suggestion: buildings
Error: buliding Suggestion: building
Error: palces Suggestion: places
Sentence: Thus we could not make the conclsuion that the Zeta compnay cost more merely on the construction consumption.
Error: conclsuion Suggestion: conclusion
Error: compnay Suggestion: company
Sentence: As there maybe different price of the buliding materials and laborforces.
Error: laborforces Suggestion: labor forces
Error: buliding Suggestion: building
Sentence: The atuhor should mak more survey about these expense instead of focusing on the money the afford to the buliding company.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Error: mak Suggestion: man
Error: buliding Suggestion: building
Sentence: Likewise, the more mantainace and energey consumption are not convincing to prove the Zeta company would cost the atuhor's company in that there are other facts except for the bulding company could affect these expense.
Error: energey Suggestion: energy
Error: mantainace Suggestion: maintainable
Error: bulding Suggestion: building
Sentence: Also, the atuhor does not show us obvious connections with the fees and the buliding companies.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Error: buliding Suggestion: building
Sentence: In addtion, the time has passed ten years.
Error: addtion Suggestion: addition
Sentence: While in this statement, the atuhor makes the advice with the pre-incidence that there have been no changes with the wtwo companies for ten years.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Error: pre-incidence Suggestion: precedence
Error: wtwo Suggestion: two
Sentence: So we need more evidence to prove the author's pre-incidence or more data from specific survey.
Error: pre-incidence Suggestion: precedence
Sentence: Finally ,the author argues that a company with little employee quited is a stable, and the atuhor contends this compnay is better than the companies with lots of employee jumped into other companies.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Error: compnay Suggestion: company
Error: quited Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: While this assumption is not convicing in that there may be other reasons for the frequent workforce transefer in such companies, as well as the companies with stable workforce.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: workforce Suggestion: workhorse
Error: convicing Suggestion: convincing
Error: transefer Suggestion: transfer
Sentence: There is a hgih possiblity that with more empolyees in and out, the Alpha company is suprior to the Zeta in that Alpha could recruit more fresh blood who could be more creative and efficient.
Error: empolyees Suggestion: employees
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Error: suprior Suggestion: superior
Error: hgih Suggestion: high
--------------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK, need to argue against Alpha.
--------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 533 350
No. of Characters: 2607 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.805 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.891 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.449 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.32 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.568 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 185, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some evidence'.
Suggestion: some evidence
...the new building plan. The atuhor cites several evidence to prove the idea. Firstly, there were...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 229, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ral evidence to prove the idea. Firstly, there were more expense of the buliding ...
^^
Line 1, column 465, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...d was twice as much as that Alpha built.Moreover, the energy consumption of the Zeta bul...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 685, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
... in that there are some loopholes in it.Also, more evidence of the background of the...
^^^^
Line 3, column 246, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...al conditions different from each other.As the atuhor tells us there were more exp...
^^
Line 3, column 451, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...the Alpha buliding in the other palces. Thus we could not make the conclsuion that t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 722, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...xpense instead of focusing on the money the afford to the buliding company. Likewise, the ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 831, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'proving'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: proving
... energey consumption are not convincing to prove the Zeta company would cost the atuhors...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...re data from specific survey. Finally ,the author argues that a company with li...
^^
Line 7, column 155, Rule ID: LOTS_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun employee seems to be countable; consider using: 'lots of employees'.
Suggestion: lots of employees
...mpnay is better than the companies with lots of employee jumped into other companies. While this...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 762, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...loyee turnover, the company could not be a promising one. In conclusion, there...
^^
Line 9, column 69, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e data and evidence needed to prove the authors suggestion. The vice president should m...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, finally, first, firstly, however, if, likewise, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, while, after all, except for, in conclusion, in fact, as well as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2669.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 530.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0358490566 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79809637944 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5576312076 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.432075471698 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 835.2 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.4578386846 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.76 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.68 5.70786347227 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157739891288 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0454621406285 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0442253764713 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0894441297799 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0474506769426 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.