Your English teacher wants you to write a story Your story must begin with this sentence I was on the beach when my mobile rang Write your story on your answer sheet

Essay topics:

Your English teacher wants you to write a story. Your story must begin with this sentence: "I was on the beach when my mobile rang". Write your story on your answer sheet.

An important incoming call.

Hi! My name is Tim and I'm a hard working employee, so my boss really like me and I get on well with him. But after a problem, he doesn't trust me anymore. It was in a beautiful day, my holiday. I decided to had a vacation with my family, so we went to a beautiful beach, and we stayed there for 10 days. The first day, then the second day.... it was perfect for me. But the problem happened in my 9th day. My boss had an important job that me can do it, so he called me. But I was on the beach when my mobile phone rang. So I couldn't hear it and I couldn't do that job. That's why my boss doesn't trust me again.

Votes
Average: 3.6 (10 votes)
This essay topic by users
Post date Users Rates Link to Content
2019-09-29 HuyVuDang 36 view
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 24, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...oming call. Hi! My name is Tim and Im a hard working employee, so my boss rea...
^^
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... well with him. But after a problem, he doesnt trust me anymore. It was in a beautiful...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 526, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...e beach when my mobile phone rang. So I couldnt hear it and I couldnt do that job. That...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 548, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
... phone rang. So I couldnt hear it and I couldnt do that job. Thats why my boss doesnt t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 569, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...ldnt hear it and I couldnt do that job. Thats why my boss doesnt trust me again.
^^^^^
Line 5, column 587, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... couldnt do that job. Thats why my boss doesnt trust me again.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, so, then, well

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 10.5418719212 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 6.10837438424 16% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 8.36945812808 84% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 5.94088669951 50% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 20.9802955665 143% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 10.0 31.9359605911 31% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 5.75862068966 17% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 510.0 1207.87684729 42% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 133.0 242.827586207 55% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 3.83458646617 5.00649968141 77% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.39596269041 3.92707691288 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.11707214328 2.71678728327 78% => OK
Unique words: 80.0 139.433497537 57% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.601503759398 0.580463131201 104% => OK
syllable_count: 153.0 379.143842365 40% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.2 1.57093596059 76% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.6157635468 152% => OK
Article: 2.0 1.56157635468 128% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.71428571429 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 0.931034482759 430% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 3.65517241379 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 12.6551724138 95% => OK
Sentence length: 11.0 20.5024630542 54% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.4211352687 50.4703680194 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 42.5 104.977214359 40% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 11.0833333333 20.9669160288 53% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 3.83333333333 7.25397266985 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 2.0 4.12807881773 48% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.33497536946 112% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 6.9802955665 86% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 2.75862068966 109% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 2.91625615764 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0960581831274 0.242375264174 40% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0448094043608 0.0925447433944 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0610374202631 0.071462118173 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0492063084986 0.151781067708 32% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0492063084986 0.0609392437508 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 2.1 12.6369458128 17% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 94.15 53.1260098522 177% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.54236453202 47% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 2.9 10.9458128079 26% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 3.75 11.5310837438 33% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 5.84 8.32886699507 70% => OK
difficult_words: 14.0 55.0591133005 25% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 4.5 9.94827586207 45% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.4 10.3980295567 62% => OK
text_standard: 3.0 10.5123152709 29% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 200 words wanted.

Rates: 22.2222222222 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 90
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.