The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
7. "We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The author recommends that in order to attract must customers, Monarch must open a café in the store. When prompt is considered as a whole, argument reveals several instances of weak reasonings and fails to mention key points. To justify the argument, author notes that continuing children’s book section will become useless and Regal Books already has opened a café. However, while author does not consider the differences and similarities between Monarch and Regal, he/she also does not show reliable sources to prove that children’s books will not attract customers. Hence author must investigate reasonings and provide evidences in order to bolster the argument.
To begin with, the author readily assumes that a national census showing decline in the percentage of children in population is a supportive evidence to remove the section. Unless this point is based on a solid ground, one cannot build a cogent case on it. For example, the number of adults might be increasing in a higher rate than the number of children in the society, which would misguide the author to believe that they cannot attract enough customer for the section. Moreover, we are also not sure how the census is conducted, therefore it cannot be used to predict the destiny of a firm. Thus the argument would have been much more convincing if it explicitly get answers to the questions on the census and the real numbers instead of percentage.
In addition to that, argument readily claims that Monarch Book is boon with Regal Books that open a café in their store. Again, this is an unwarranted claim as it does not demonstrate any clear connection between two book stores. To illustrate further, Monarch Book is a twenty years old trustful store but Regal Books might be failure as they cannot provide eclectic range of books to customer. This could lead them to open a café and become a different store other than a book store. Also, we do not have any information on the number of customers they have before and after this construction. If the argument had provided that Regal Books was a convivial rival to Monarch and they did have success as a result of only this application, it would have been a lot more plausible to reader.
Finally, by taking mentioned claims as warranted, author suggests that opening a café will attract more customer for the store. Still, there are unclarity on the need of more customers of the Monarch. For instance, do we have any analysis on the customer trends for the store? Let’s say they have declined dramatically in the last years, which could be caused by bad management, disrespectful employees or the noise around the store. The reason of the decline also must be investigated in this case. Further, opening a café might annoy the customer base of the Monarch. Some people might want to avoid book stores like Regal just because they have café, noise and people who are not interested in books coming to store just for coffee. Without, evidentiary answer to why store needs more customers, the reader is left with the impression that claims made by author are more of an inkling rather than substantiated case.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is not persuasive as it sounds. To strengthen the claims, he or she must provide more concrete answers to questions regarding to census, their rival Regal Books and their customer base. Perhaps, they could use a detailed analysis of their customer base to serve better as a book store.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 588 350
No. of Characters: 2809 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.924 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.777 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.151 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.593 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 581, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...pos;s books will not attract customers. Hence author must investigate reasonings and ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 596, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... used to predict the destiny of a firm. Thus the argument would have been much more ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 668, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'gets'?
Suggestion: gets
...n much more convincing if it explicitly get answers to the questions on the census ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, hence, however, if, moreover, regarding, so, still, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2921.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 587.0 441.139720559 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97614991482 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9222030514 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65511504873 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466780238501 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 904.5 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7915313358 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.185185185 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7407407407 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.77777777778 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.3021070527 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0926114308799 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.07541141549 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168390651646 0.128457276422 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0808160226848 0.0628817314937 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.