Since the invention of television, the same generations have a common memory in different periods of their life due to the movie or other programs which have been presented in television. Considering this fact that all of us spend some times to watch television or movies, the influence of this phenomenon on people's behavior is not deniable, but in my opinion, this effect depends on some factors which I will mention them in this essay.
First of all, the time is one of the most important factor which can make a television or movies an adverse instrument or keep it as a good tool for having fun or spending some times on it. In this regards, I read a research about the television which said that spending excessive time on watching television make our brain less active. So managing the time which is consumed in television or its programs is an important subject.
On the other hand, the age is an issue which worth to be considered more deeply. When we take a look around us, we can see numerous of kids or teenagers who are intimating the actors or stars behaviors or customs. As they are in a critical age, they are very disposed to copy them as their patterns. As a result, they are more vulnerable to negative aspects of the television.
In spite of the time that people expend on television or their age, there is still another important factor which can influence people's behaviors as well as the previous factors. That is the kind of program which is shown on television or the quality of movies. What I mean is, if the content which the producer of a program aims to his audiences is good or useful the other factors can be less negative and vice avers. For example, watching a happy family movie for a long time is less than watching a violent movie full of rough senses.
In conclusion, it could be said that television's effects on people's behavior is a multidimensional subject which can be changed by any variations in its dimensions which I named three of them which are the most important ones in my knowledge.
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the time is one of the most important factor
the time is one of the most important factors
spending excessive time on watching television make our brain less active
spending excessive time on watching television makes our brain less active
the age is an issue which worth to be considered
the age is an issue which is worth to be considered
Sentence: When we take a look around us, we can see numerous of kids or teenagers who are intimating the actors or stars behaviors or customs.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to stars and behaviors
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Number of Paragraphs: 5 5