Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others.
Leadership is one of the few traits that requires a large number of soft skills to be carefully used together in order to be effective. The passage makes the suggestion that young people should be instilled with cooperation, rather than competition. I mostly disagree with the claim because of a few, simple reasons listed below.
Firstly, I would like to illustrate on why cooperation is indeed one of the more important qualities of not only a good leader but for any person in general. The progress of entire human race is as a result of cooperation. For example, for someone to build a rocket, someone had to first discover properties of alloys, figure out all the physics behind velocity, gravity, etc. Only then, as a result of these countless inventions/discoveries, one can think about building something as complex as a rocket. The main takeaway here is that, no matter what someone does in today's world, be it a simple task like drinking out of a bottle or something complex, it can only be done because of cooperation. Humanity cannot progress if every human has to live for himself or herself. Similar ideas can be applied to leadership in government, industries, etc. Only through cooperation can one achieve optimal results.
However, competition is almost as important as cooperation in any work environment. In fact, one can even go as far as saying that without competition there will be almost no progress in a field. Take the real example of Intel and AMD, the only two companies responsible for manufacturing of desktop and server CPUs. Until 2016, AMD did not have a compelling product in the market, so, Intel dominated the marketed share, therefore could enjoy the privileged of pricing their products as high as possible. But in 2016 AMD came up with a product just as good as Intel's and hence the latter had to not only slash its pricing but also, fast-track their release timeline. Hence, today all the consumers enjoy high performing CPUs, for relatively low prices. This and countless other instances prove that competition is vital for progress.
With that said, fortunately, unlike the passage suggests, competition and cooperation are not mutually exclusive. There is room for both of these in a work-space. In fact, all team sports currently in existence are built around this idea. So, in conclusion, while I do think that cooperation is important, it is also necessary to instill a sense of competition among young people to make them better leaders overall.
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than 35
- The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station."Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the comp 82
- Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others. 58
- Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too valuable to be shared freely. 67
- In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view. 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 51, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... is one of the few traits that requires a large number of soft skills to be carefully used togeth...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, so, still, then, while, as to, for example, in conclusion, in fact, in general, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2090.0 2235.4752809 93% => OK
No of words: 418.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.922125169 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.574162679426 0.4932671777 116% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 59.0653967094 60.3974514979 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.5238095238 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9047619048 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 5.21951772744 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189853453865 0.243740707755 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0507624122551 0.0831039109588 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.050457504192 0.0758088955206 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116594449422 0.150359130593 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0516608164408 0.0667264976115 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.8420337079 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.1639044944 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 100.480337079 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.