If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Kys is a crowded and industrial city and located in middle southern Mongo. The number of companies in the city is increasing every year, so too much land are used to build them. However, neither the mayor of the city nor other authorities think about to use those land to build big new parks. If I have a chance to change one thing in Kys, it would encourage people to increase the number of parks for three main reasons.
First of all, as far as the children are our future, we should provide them a place to improve their imagination while they are enjoying. Parks are the best places for children to have fun. After the technological investments, children have become unsocial and technological devices affect children's brain development. For example, according to an article from New York Times, children who allowed to play outside with their friends are more social and smarter. Therefore, for children's future, building a enjoyable park is most crucial thing.
The second reason is that adults need a capital park to socialize. For example, I and my husband like to organize a barbecue party with our friends at a park. However, when we visit our home town, we see that there is not enough place to meet with people. Every park is too crowded and sometimes people may not able to find a place to create new memories with their friends. Thus, parks are the best places which allow people to be relaxed and socialized.
Last but not least, people want new places to take their pets to outside. However, in Kayseri, there is not even one park that has places for animals. Therefore, after new style parks, which have areas also for pets, are created, pet owners could enjoy in the park while their pets are playing with their friends in a safe area.
All in all, I think it is the most crucial thing for Kys is lacking of parks. I would increase the number of parks and add animals area, if I have a chance to change one thing in my home town. Therefore, not only people, but also animals would enjoy at parks.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 399, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'playing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: playing
...om New York Times, children who allowed to play outside with their friends are more soc...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 505, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...erefore, for childrens future, building a enjoyable park is most crucial thing. ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, i think, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1673.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.62154696133 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34190449227 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505524861878 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 516.6 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.1664483058 48.9658058833 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.65 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.3 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0785080056292 0.236089414692 33% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.028041905256 0.076458572812 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0425466131556 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0542820352474 0.150856017488 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0485603742364 0.0645574589148 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.22 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.88 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 86.8835125448 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.