TPO-32 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

In the modern era, due to survive the current economic climate, all people, specially youngsters have to work from down to dusk. When we look around, all people are busy with hustle and bustle live. Many people are of the opinion that youth have not a certain impact on the society important decisions, while other thinks that youngster themselves make a bright future for their society. Ego, when it comes to my stance, by weighing the pros and cons, I firmly hold that nowadays, youngster do their best to fulfil their society’s desire and make the best decision for it. In what follows, I will cogently pinpoint my most conspicuous reasons to justify my point of view.
The first exquisite to be mentioned is that youngster are the educated part of a society, and they try to be aware of their society scenario. Therefore, by having the knowledge of modern technology, they have the ability of giving the best decision for a society. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. Five years ago, there was not any refrigerator for fresh agricultural product in Afghanistan. All of the perishable products after cultivation, sold in bazar by a extremely low price, so farmers were suffering from this condition. As soon as a young person determined as boss of Ministry of Agriculture in Afghanistan, he made a very large refrigerator for perishable products and solved the problem.
Another equally significant reason to be mentioned is that nowadays, youth are working in the most important part of the governments specially in Afghanistan. By invasion of new technology, and access to these kind of technology, youngster are able to invent new things by their creative ideas. For example, in Afghanistan due to corruption, the election process was not clear, and there was lots of corruption among that. Fortunately, a young women, one of the members of Elective commission made a electronic device that avoid corruption. Consequently, now people are sure about the result.
In brief, contemplating all aforementioned reasons, I myself think that youngster are the most important decision maker in a society, because they are educated and familiar with new technology, and also they are working in the most important part of a society.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 414, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
...sh agricultural product in Afghanistan. All of the perishable products after cultivation, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 481, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...cts after cultivation, sold in bazar by a extremely low price, so farmers were su...
^
Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...vasion of new technology, and access to these kind of technology, youngster are able to in...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 444, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'woman'?
Suggestion: woman
...uption among that. Fortunately, a young women, one of the members of Elective commiss...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 498, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...the members of Elective commission made a electronic device that avoid corruption...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, if, look, so, therefore, while, for example, in brief, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1888.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 372.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0752688172 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94616788241 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540322580645 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 603.9 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.1274274811 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.058823529 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8823529412 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.23529411765 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116622884536 0.236089414692 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0369060385875 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0299208943989 0.0737576698707 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0702638835302 0.150856017488 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0209519090483 0.0645574589148 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Each of us has so many questions that we don't know where or with whom to answer. Therefore forums like this are extremely valuable for students like us. I also have some questions about this post that I am participating in, I will definitely post on this forum in the near future.