Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.
There is no shortage of opinion on the adolescences' decision making process about their life. In my opinion, juveniles are available to decide things more independably of parents than how young people did before. I feel this way for three main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
Firstly, the society is inspiring parents to let their offspring be self-reliant about important choice. There are several motto about rights of young people, many of which heavily influence the thoughts of parents. Hence, young people almost can do whatever they want without being afraid of the attitude of parents because possibility of allowance of the elderly about the action of their kids are relatively larger than before. Moreover, the society of Mongolia, that is my native country, changed as whole from communism to democracy, which supports the rights of every individuals. Moreover, parents are even being punished for infringing the ordinance about children. Thereby, other people cannot change the decision of young people by deterring with physical injury such as beating young children. For example, my mother told me that she was afraid of telling my grandmother about her decision because she was beaten several times, and did not want it anymore. Nonetheless, because my parents have never harmed me physically, I am confident of holding my firm opinion on my decision. Drawing from my own experience, juveniles are confident about the important thoughts about their life thanks to the assistance of the society.
Secondly, the science proves that people tend to be successful if they follow things based on their own decisions. Therefore, the fact encourages parents to give their children rights to make significant choice themselves because parents want their offspring to develop themselves in a way that they want. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter is affected by my own experience. When I was fifteen years old, my parents were refusing me to study as programmer. However, they allowed me to study wherever I want as soon as I showed the evidence that people tend to not accomplish thing about which they are reluctant. In consequence, parents are now familiar with the facts that people should decide their own life for their welfare, and it will maximize their potential.
To sum up, I am of the opinion of today's adolescents are comparatively more capable of deciding things than people from earlier period. This is because community and science have encouraged people to do so.
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| 2023-05-10 | hesami | 73 | view |
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- TPO 21 Integrated essay 80
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 116, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun motto seems to be countable; consider using: 'several mottoes', 'several mottos'.
Suggestion: several mottoes; several mottos
...liant about important choice. There are several motto about rights of young people, many of w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 124, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'mottoes', 'mottos'?
Suggestion: mottoes; mottos
...out important choice. There are several motto about rights of young people, many of w...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 588, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...pports the rights of every individuals. Moreover, parents are even being punished for in...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, hence, however, if, moreover, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i feel, such as, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2132.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 414.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14975845411 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70799556541 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502415458937 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.0838239668 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.6 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3 5.45110844103 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.314634176449 0.236089414692 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0996989777476 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0722613793045 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192230173539 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0533073506114 0.0645574589148 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.