The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
The argument concludes that the use of salicylates in various food processing activities like flavor additive, will ultimately lead to a further decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia. To bolster this claim, the author mentions a study which asserts that there is a correlation between the increased usage of salicylates as food preserving agent and the decline of a number of headaches suffered by the people. In addition to this, the author puts forward the fact that aspirin and salicylates belong to the same chemical family. The conclusion of the argument is based on undependable and unreliable assumptions for which no clear proof is provided.
Firstly, the argument is based on a study that deals with data of the past 20 years; however, there is no authenticity provided for this study. The argument further fails to mention the authenticity of the organization conducting the study. To illustrate, if the study has been conducted by some college grad students or fledging researchers its validity is a big question. One can not be assured of the data collected and the method used for analyzing them. Unless the data is collected and approved by the health authorities of the city. It is also equally important to know the range of people considered. Had, the author provided this information the study would have been a reliable source in making decisions.
Moreover, the study does not mention whether the people considered consumed food containing salicylates as food preservative. It is possible that the decline in the number of cases is due to the improved lifestyle of people. Further, people might have reduced their screen time or started eye exercises or are keeping themselves hydrated. The argument does not state for sure that all the people considered were consuming preservative food in their regular diet. Unless the author provided us with the knowledge that the entire population under consideration is consuming preservative food the argument is weak and can not be trusted. Because if the people of Mentia are entirely against consuming preservative food then the entire argument falls apart.
Finally, it has been assumed that an increased consumption of salicylates will be useful in reducing the number of headaches. But the point worth noting here is, does excess of salicylates have no side effect or harm on the human body. It is quite possible that excess accumulation of salicylates can lead to several other severe diseases. Until the argument provides us with a health official claim stating that excess level of salicylates does not affect the body in any way it is not advisable to increase the consumption of salicylates. To strengthen the argument the effect of excess of salicylates needs provided for proper understanding of the case. The author needs to provide us with substantial evidence and research work proving that salicylates has only a positive effect on our body.
To sum up, increased use of salicylates in food processing activities will reduce headaches can not be assured with full guarantee. To go ahead with the conclusion the author needs to reconsider the validity of the study. The author must confirm that the study has been conducted by an authorized group. Further, the author needs to make sure that the excess of salicylates does not harm people of Mentia. With answers to these questions, one can make a strong conclusion on whether to support the decision or not.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 571 350
No. of Characters: 2857 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.888 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.004 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.804 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 212 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 161 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.393 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.275 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.321 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 635, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rgument is weak and can not be trusted. Because if the people of Mentia are entirely ag...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Until” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... lead to several other severe diseases. Until the argument provides us with a health ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 611, Rule ID: NEEDS_FIXED[1]
Message: "needs provided" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try 'providing' or 'to be provided'.
Suggestion: providing; to be provided
...e effect of excess of salicylates needs provided for proper understanding of the case. T...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, so, then, in addition, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 78.0 55.5748502994 140% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2910.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 571.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09632224168 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88831323574 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85169123329 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439579684764 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 943.2 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.6065151264 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.928571429 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3928571429 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.25 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20974746155 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0584558207365 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0568958408857 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128866272632 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0722881164152 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 98.500998004 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.