The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie
Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the statement believes that in order not to be closed, Rialto Movie Theater needs to make changes and become up-to-date as the Apex Theater is. This conclusion is based on an unspoken assumption that since the Apex features modern apparatuses, the moviegoers, whose numbers are seemingly in a decline, might prefer to go to Apex instead of the Rialto Movie theater. The author needs to answer several vital questions to change the argument from the current ambiguous form to a clear one.
First, the author needs to ask why people choose Rialto Movie Theater. It is possible that people mainly go there because of the nostalgic aroma preserved in that theater. If the change happens, there might be no nostalgic ambience for the classic movie goers. Furthermore, the author needs to ask whether the Rialto’s box office is failing. As there are no statistics of the number of sold movie tickets, the downtown movie theater may not face a bankruptcy at all.
Secondly, the author needs to ask whether Apex can be as a successful model for Rialto. It is possible that despite all the expenditure on video arcade, carpeting, and a state-of-art sound system, the Apex is not successful in absorbing enough movie goers. The net profit of Apex might be so low that makes Apex’s investment unjustifiable. If this is the case, Apex cannot be a successful model to be imitated by Rialto.
Finally, the author needs to ask questions about the survey. Does the five-time-going-to-theater by each movie goer show a declining trend? It is possible that even with this frequency of going to the theater, an increased box office hit is expected for the Rialto rather than a decrease in the ticket sale. The author, thus, needs to ask how this frequency would be translated into selling movie tickets. Furthermore, even the movie goers are in a decline because of the price of new released films, the author still needs to ask how this fact is consistent with Rialto Theater. People might prefer watching old movies in the half-century built Rialto Theater and the price of new movies might even encourage people to watch old movies in there.
In short, as discussed above, there are several vital questions whose answers are needed to illustrate the author’s argument. As the trend of moviegoers is not clear and so are many other crucial points, the argument cannot be evaluated as persuasive.
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Sentence: If the change happens, there might be no nostalgic ambience for the classic movie goers.
Error: ambience Suggestion: No alternate word
argument 1 -- wrong here:
Furthermore, the author needs to ask whether the Rialto’s box office is failing. As there are no statistics of the number of sold movie tickets, the downtown movie theater may not face a bankruptcy at all.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
suggested:
Suppose there are 100 people in the survey, 15 people will keep watching movies 5 times or more, 85 people will watch movies less than 5 times. The important thing is: how many people like Apex style, how many like Rialto style. if only 5 people like Apex style while 80 people like Rialto style, the shift to Apex style will be a big loss.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 1940 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.767 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.54 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.357 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5