The graph below shows the writing technology used by undergraduate students to prepare assignments at a university in 1970, 1982, and 1994.
The bar chart gives the information about a variety of writing technologies used by student who took a bachelor degree at a university to finish their essay over a 24-year period, it measured in percentages.
At first glance, it is noticeable that ball point pens were more popular in 1970 and 1982, while the type writing method was considerably more common in the middle and the end of the period. However, computers were more frequently used by the students.
Turning to the writing method before the computer technology coming, there was no percentage of ball point pens recorded in 1994, while the proportion of the method was not as high in 1982 as that in 1970, at a half. However type writer technology was much higher in 1982, at 40 %, whereas the percentage of fountain and ball point pens in 1994 saw much smaller at only 3% and 5%.
A closer look at the data in 1994, there was a slight increase in the proportion of the use of computer for assignments in 1994, from one in ten in 1982 to a half in 1994. It is clear that the percentage of computer recorded a fivefold increase in the end of the period.
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while the proportion of the method was not as high in 1982 as that in 1970, at a half.
Description: what does it mean 'at a half'? can you re-write this sentence?
However type writer technology was much higher in 1982
Description: 'much higher' than one year or all years? should be clear.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 203 200
No. of Characters: 888 1000
No. of Different Words: 100 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.775 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.374 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.555 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 57 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 40 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.447 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.471 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.783 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4