The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.
"Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemployment rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades. Moreover, two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time."
*Downsizing is the process whereby corporations deliberately make themselves smaller, reducing the number of their employees.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prompt rejects the idea that - corporate downsizing in Elthyria has caused many workers to lost their jobs, compelled them to face severe hardships. The author provided scant reasoning for the opposition, hwoever many logical flaws in the premises; making the argument arguable. These conjectures are to be mentioned only followed by sufficient clarifications.
To begin with - the author presumbly believed that the filed of the corporate world; the editor talked about, is same as he has assumed. For example - he might take it for granted that the articel is dedicated to only the upper class officers of the corporate worlds, not as a whole. But what if the author is ignoring all other fileds to take into account, which the newspaper might have taken? It is not impossible to accept that - the newspaper is emphasizing greatly to the telecommunication corporation and it might be true that the downsizing in that corporation has actually forced many people to be jobless and to face the scaring reality. This might be mistakenly taken by the author in the field of other garments factory or corporations where, if it accords to the author,s evidences, job employment level is quite high and safe. If there remains a discrepency of fields in the representation of ideas between both the author and the editor of the newspaper, then the conclusion taken by the author might not hold any value as it is based on a false premise.
Second to consider is that - the author in no time believed that all the high paying jobs are alluring enough to the job seekers for their high wages. What if most of those jobs demand much more than the the unemployed people hoped for? For example - if most of of the high wages and vacant jobs, for which the unemployeds will apply, might provide them with such conditions or requirments that are not accepted unconditionally among the candidates. Taking a simple example - if a pregnant woman is asked to accomplish about a 14 hour work shift each and everyday then what will be the response? Obviously the woman would like to search relatively lower honoured jobs than the high salaried one as it is highly unlikely that a pregnant woman will be able to do such an enorous amount of works daily. So, similar type of dilemma the candidates of those "alluring jobs might have to face and thay is why they can not but have to reject those and have to search for elsewhere. If this is the scenario then regardless of how much high waged jobs and how many of those prevailed people might choose to escape those forcefully becasue of their stringent and illusionary requirements. However, necessary evidences opposing the idea have not been provided in the prompt.
Thirdly, the assumption of the author which is somewhat complimentary with the second one is that - the author ready made believe of more creation of jobs; lowering the unemployment rate in its lowest in decades. But what the author is missing is a sophisticated reasoning. Contemporary jobs, left out by the lower or misfit ones, might be well suited for the other people - but what is the guarantee that the number of those people will be high to the leftover ones? Also it might be the case that - most of those high demanded jobs are advanced level ones that require solid understanding of computing, that majority of the poeple in the mentioned country might not know. Another fact can be that - the jobs which are created, might be the ones that do not require a great deal of people and can simply completed by a single person. As a result most of those jobs might require less number of employees than than that of the total ones.This might insist the company to reduce lots of labour and only to persist with the efficient ones, although less in numbers.
So, looking at all the points mentioned above, it might be too hasty to come to a conclusion based on the flaws inflicted assumptions. It would be a better choice to investigate the answers of the questions asked in the essay, providing sufficient evidences and then come to a conclusion based on those.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3,5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 16 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 705 350
No. of Characters: 3289 1500
No. of Different Words: 307 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.153 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.665 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.59 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.191 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 716, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'garments'' or 'garment's'?
Suggestion: garments'; garment's
...ken by the author in the field of other garments factory or corporations where, if it ac...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 783, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , s
...tions where, if it accords to the author,s evidences, job employment level is quit...
^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ost of those jobs demand much more than the the unemployed people hoped for? For exampl...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ost of those jobs demand much more than the the unemployed people hoped for? For exampl...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 260, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: of
...people hoped for? For example - if most of of the high wages and vacant jobs, for whi...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 469, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ople will be high to the leftover ones? Also it might be the case that - most of tho...
^^^^
Line 7, column 806, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'complete'
Suggestion: complete
...e a great deal of people and can simply completed by a single person. As a result most of...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 906, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: than
... might require less number of employees than than that of the total ones.This might insis...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 939, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...loyees than than that of the total ones.This might insist the company to reduce lots...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, second, so, then, third, thirdly, well, for example, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 28.8173652695 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 88.0 55.5748502994 158% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3373.0 2260.96107784 149% => OK
No of words: 703.0 441.139720559 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79800853485 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.14918898149 4.56307096286 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69543082185 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 314.0 204.123752495 154% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446657183499 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 1063.8 705.55239521 151% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.5637656826 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.92 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.12 23.324526521 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108458896031 0.218282227539 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.035454851303 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0450480079135 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0681278526919 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497843276801 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 168.0 98.500998004 171% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.