Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The statement claims that technology is actually serves opposite of its original purpose. The intended purpose of technology, new inventions, would be simplifying our lives, but new inventions complicates our lives instead. Indeed, our lives, daily activities and tools we use, are far more complicated than the past, and they are getting more complicated everyday. However, two question arose when I read the statement. The first was whether the new inventions were really aimed to simplify our lives. The second was whether the technology is the actual cause of the complications.
In order to answer the first question, we need to think about the fact that new inventions were made because of a specific necessity, but the necessity is not always to ease human lives. There are various reasons for new inventions: speed, force, accuracy, quantity and et cetera. For example, many machines used in various factories were not necessarily developed to ease workers, but for a faster and accurate process which ultimately lead to more profit. While it seems that the worker are benefitted by machines, the job involved with machines also get complicated as machines get more sophisticated and complex for the better process.
Using the above example, we also can answer my second question. Even though new machines were not developed for the workers, workers can still be benefited by it. However, we do not allow ourselves to be benefited from it. Technology does not have a will, but it is the user who has the will. If a new tool was developed, which allows the user to accomplish the same work faster than before, many people does not want to use the tool to do the same amount of work as before and finish early. Many people use such benefit to produce more for more profit. However, the statement is blaming technology rather than the user, who is ourselves.
Nevertheless, one might still argue there are inventions made to simplify our lives, yet it complicates our lives. The best example would be a car. Cars were invented to ease our travelling capacity, but it brought troubles and new rules to human life. The tedious traffic rules and unwanted accidents are troublesome. However, we must weigh the burdens against the benefits we get. Despite accidents and possibilities of accident, people still use cars because the benefit is greater than the risk. People also follows the traffic rules, because the rules provides safety. After all, people get used to driving, the rules become natural, and accidents are less likely.
Summing up, simplification of our lives is not the only purpose of technologies. Therefore, the complication of human life is inevitable. Furthermore, people can ease their life using new inventions, but they decided not to; it is not technology which decided the fate of human. Lastly, the complexity arose from new inventions must be weighed against benefit it brought, rather than just grudging at the complication.
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but new inventions complicates our lives
but new inventions complicate our lives
flaws:
Don't put a lot of 'however', 'but' in one paragraph. Need to develop ideas more smoothly. Look:
Using the above example, we also can answer my second question. Even though new machines were not developed for the workers, workers can still be benefited by it. However, we do not allow ourselves to be benefited from it. Technology does not have a will, but it is the user who has the will. If a new tool was developed, which allows the user to accomplish the same work faster than before, many people does not want to use the tool to do the same amount of work as before and finish early. Many people use such benefit to produce more for more profit. However, the statement is blaming technology rather than the user, who is ourselves.
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A suggested pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 487 350
No. of Characters: 2394 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.698 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.616 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.793 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.703 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.793 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.263 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.456 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5