The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
“Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The presented statement is riddled with assumptions and tenuous proof and devoid of solid ones. In order for a judgement to be passed a lot more have to be taken into consideration.
Skateboarding is a recreation whereas store owning is considered as a business. There is no evidence provided that the downfall of business is due to an innocent sport activity. There has been no evidence provided that the number of shoppers has decreased due to increased skateboarding. It only stands on the belief of the store owners.
It can be true that within the two years there had been a considerable number of stores opening which provide the same products of maybe better quality in lower price than the ones sold at the shops at Central Plaza. It can also be that the location of the new stores is more convenient than Central Plaza. Additionally it may also be true that the new shop owners are far more respectful and courteous to the shoppers than the ones at Central Plaza. Thus the accusation against skateboarding would not hold true as the predicted result of higher business after their eradication might not fall through as expected. The shoppers would still go to the other stores which are convenient for them instead.
Taking the first sentence into consideration it is seen than within the last two years the popularity of skateboarding has increased while the number of shoppers has decreased. But, there is no relation established among the two. There is a lack of evidence which shows that these two occurrences are directly proportional to each other.
The complaint of litter and vandalism at the Central Plaza is also vague and equivocal. It is nowhere mentioned that there had been a witness to the vandalism which places the skateboarders in the scene. A rule cannot be passed by depending only upon circumstantial evidence.
The fact that skateboarding has increased because of less crowd at Central Plaza should also be taken into consideration. No evidence has been provided in the letter about whether the crowd was gradually diminishing in number even before the skateboarding extravaganza had started there. Skateboarding is a sport that requires a large amount of space for action and practice. So, upon seeing the negligible amount of shoppers, the ground for skateboarding might have been set up.
There is no guarantee that the store would return to their former business and glory after the prohibition of skateboarding. It can only be assumed that the shoppers would return for reasons unknown but there is no credibility in this. Hence, the recommendation may not yield the predicted result even though skateboarding was prohibited in Central Plaza.
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flaws:
The content is not well organized. and there is no conclusion.
The second, third, fourth and sixth paragraphs can be put in one paragraph.
try this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2200 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.89 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.542 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.532 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.574 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5