The extended family is less important now than it was in the past.
Controversy exists over whether the value of extended family between people. As far as I am concerned, the extended family is less important in comparison to the past because not only people do not have free time but also, the advancement of technology changed the lifestyle. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint my case.
The first reason worth mentioning is that members of a family (Father and mother) do not have leisure time. Nowadays in modern lives, people are forced to find a job in the industry since most of the jobs position are related to it. On the other hand, the daily expenses of people have been increased abnormally. Therefore, people are obliged to allocate a great amount of their time to work. They do not have enough free time to spend with extended family members and prefer to spend the remaining time with their own family. Hence, people have to focus a great proportion of energy on a career that enable them to supply the need of family members. For example, a person who works in a big company does not earn a high income from his job. He has to work more time in the company to increase his earning.
A furthur more subtle point is that the technology is developed. It changes some of the people's behavior and caused the emergence of the internet and cell-phone. Teenagers really enjoy new devices that are dependent on the internet. One of the most used devices in recent years by them is the mobile. Moreover, a new trend has happened which is social media. Instead of visiting other family members such as cousins and grandparents, children prefer to socialize with their friends on social media such as Instagram or Twitter. Also, with the development of technology, the artificial intelligence of video games has been improved and made games more difficult with higher quality. Children usually become addicted to this game since they are a great source of entertainment. For instance. when I was in high school, after finishing my study and assignment, instead of going to visit my uncle which loved me very much, my choice was to play games on my computer.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, the extended family does not have significance anymore due to the way people live and the development of technology.
- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. 60
- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. 65
- Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past 80
- People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries 71
- TPO29 81
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 77, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...the technology is developed. It changes some of the peoples behavior and caused the emergen...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 89, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...gy is developed. It changes some of the peoples behavior and caused the emergence of th...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 791, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
... source of entertainment. For instance. when I was in high school, after finishing m...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, moreover, really, so, therefore, as to, for example, for instance, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1899.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 395.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80759493671 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64546181114 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544303797468 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 619.2 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.1922391715 48.9658058833 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4285714286 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8095238095 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.80952380952 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15438277156 0.236089414692 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0344014987747 0.076458572812 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0601226740556 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112158196912 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0848492089184 0.0645574589148 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.