Some people argue for a broad university education in which students learn about many different subjects. Others argue for a specialized university education in which students learn only about a specific field of study. Which position do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
That the university education is an important part of our life is an undeniable fact. At university, people learn more about life, increase their knowledge, and make so many friends. There are two distinct schools of thought about university education: Some people argue that a broad university education is superior, others disagree. As my vantage point, I am after the opinion that students should learn a broad education for the following vital reasons.
To begin with, I believe that learning about various fields of study is more beneficial and aid the individuals to be more successful in their life. A vivid example can be given to shed light to what was elaborated above. If a person intends to study medicine and follows a career as a doctor, he must have knowledge about other topics too. He should study about human emotions and relationships so he could raise his child properly. If someday he starts his own business and decides to run his own office, he must know about politics, law, and accounting to manage his work. Hence, studying beyond his profession is necessary.
Besides the previously mentioned point, learning about various subjects allows a person to enjoy a variety of activities. An engineer can also be a good musician or an eminent athlete too. Is there any problem with that ? Certainly no. For instance, by learning about art and music, one can have a deeper comprehension of musics and enjoy more from participating in concerts and live performances. Moreover, our lifestyle can be enhanced if we regularly exercise. Playing sports assists us to maintain a healthy body. What’s more, when I am in shape, I feel more confident and happy, because others have a higher impression on me.
In the final glance, gaining more experiences is another major benefit of studying several fields at university. The veracity of this claim could be evaluated through a meticulous observation on the mass of evidences; For example, last year I went to a business trip with one of my colleagues, who is a very successful person. In the evenings after work, we went to clubs and parties. Believe it or not, I was totally astonished by his vast range of knowledge. He knew about music instrument the musicians were playing on stage at the club. He could speak several languages with persons in the parties. He had so much information about the traditions and regulation in that country. In other words, all these had a strong impression on me. That’s why everyone at office considers him a successful employee.
All in all, although some sophisticated people prove the otherwise, I reiterate that studying various fields of study makes a better policy regarding the above-mentioned arguments. Therefore, I recommend everyone to take some course from other subjects at least to enhance their knowledge; It would be very eye-opening and worthwhile.
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Comments
Dear essay-rater, Thanks for
Dear essay-rater,
Thanks for scoring my essay. I've heard that in TOEFL writing, in contrast to GRE, it is better to choose on side and discuss that. What do you recommend for argumentative and comparing topics? Should I discuss both viewpoints in separated paragraphs one for each? or discuss the opposite viewpoint only in the last paragraph? or discuss both the negative and the positive points about each of the reasons in each paragraph ?
Regards.
Yes, it is better to choose
Yes, it is better to choose one side and discuss for TOEFL exam.
But when you support this side, still you can compare and contrast to another side, for example, you can put another side down in order to support the side you agree. This can make the arguments stronger and get higher marks.
Take a look at the second paragraph:
If a person intends to study medicine and follows a career as a doctor, he must have knowledge about other topics too. He should study about human emotions and relationships so he could raise his child properly. If someday he starts his own business and decides to run his own office, he must know about politics, law, and accounting to manage his work. Hence, studying beyond his profession is necessary.
revised:
Suppose a person intends to study medicine and follows a career as a doctor. If he just wants to be an employee in a hospital or clinic, learning only about a specific field of study may be enough. But if someday he want to start his own business and decides to run his own office, he must know about politics, law, and accounting, etc to manage his work. Hence, studying beyond his profession is necessary.
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your comment. It was very instructive.
flaws:
Some comparisons and contrasts wanted to 'learn only about a specific field of study'. Don't just support one side.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2322 1500
No. of Different Words: 268 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.878 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.776 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.348 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.607 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.247 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.442 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5