Advancement of society has lead to a critical point where the working force had to be organized in a more manageable way. Following the word's etymology that means "a body of people", corporations were officially recognized in the ancient world as a tool of concentrated power with a primary responsibility of promoting the well-being of the society and environments in which they operate. However, in the new age the role of corporation has been readjusted according to the standards that exhibit profit as the primary concern. After carefully weighting the following facts, it becomes clear that corporations should be balanced between the society's welfare and their economical prosperity.
To begin with, the Amazon's jungle deforestation is a well known and pellucid case that can demonstrate the extend of the malicious impact on society due to a profit-biased corporational policy. The statistics usually do not lie, as the excessive number of acres of the Amazonean jungle that have been irreversibly sacrificed in the altar of money, also contributing to the Greenhouse effect, will continue to remind us of a legal corporational policy with profit as its primary concern. In this case, although there have been many studies that have warned about the aftermath of this vulgar destruction of wild life and laws usually protect environment from exploit, corporations not only ignored the scientific conclusions but they also found an obtuse but legitimate way to exploit the law and proceed with their plan.
Next, in the late '70s there has been a notable scandal about the oil corporations and the chronic usage of lead as a catalyst mixture in gas which provided a better combustion for the engines. The contradiction was that lead has been proven, by a small group of scientists, to be an extremely hazardous element for humans and the environment. Being responsible for air and water pollution, increased cancer instances, and other diseases mostly related with mental health, lead is a rare heavy element that is impossible to be disposed of. Oil companies, did know about the negative effects of lead but since leaded gas was their most profitable product they ignored, and in some cases attempted to mute scientific research related to leaded gas, as this would severely damage their profits. Although legal at that time due to the propagation delay effect of scientific information, scientists have managed to inform the public and the government in order to make some drastic changes in the law. Fortunately, governments have banned lead from products, obligated oil companies to change their policy and set new regulation standards in favor of the public health and the well-being of society.
Nevertheless, on the other side of the opinion camp, there are numerous corporations that mainly promote the welfare of society or the environment in which they operate. Apart from donating large amounts of cash in non governmental organizations, many corporations that follow this policy usually apply a democratic hierarchy with the pretext of welfare, significantly promoting local economies as the employers' payments are proportional to their corporation's profit. However, according to statistical surveys, these corporations that do not have a profit policy as their primary concern, usually have a higher chance of bankruptcy, since it is extremely hard to attract investors whose primary concern is profit. In addition, most of these corporations also relate to frauds and abuse of public funds since it is easier to persuade governments for assistance by promoting the corporation's social friendly policy.
To sum up, according to the aforementioned examples we can conclude that the silver lining for a healthy corporation policy must embrace equally the need for profit and social welfare. No panacea can be found in either one-sided policy. Although profit is necessary for a viable corporation, we have to remember that the definition of corporation is to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate and that an aberration from these principles only pops up negative effects for society and corporations.
- "Businesses should try to reduce the large number of positions and salary levels in an effort to provide their employees with a satisfying working environment." 90
- The following was excerpted from the speech of a spokesperson for Synthetic Farm Products Inc Many farmers who invested in the equipment needed to make the switch from synthetic to organic fertilizers and pesticides feel that it would be too expensive to 87
- The following appeared in the editorial in an industry newsletter:"As public concern over drug abuse has increased, authorities have become more vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country. Many drug traffickers have conse 80
- The following appeared in a memorandum to the planning department of an investment firm:"Costs have begun dropping for several types of equipment currently used to convert solar energy into electricity. Moreover, some exciting new technologies for convert 90
- Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than 80
Thanks for evaluating my
Thanks for evaluating my essay. May I ask what are the flaws here that prevent a score of 6?
Cheers!
Well, the essay e-rater gave
Well, the essay e-rater gave it 6.0 while the human grader gave it 5.0.
In the view of human graders in testbig, more arguments mean higher marks. It is not in their favor if there are big examples.
But you can continue your writing styles, maybe in actual GRE, people have different ideas.
I believe I have included 3
I believe I have included 3 main arguments 2+1. Should I have gone more in details? Were the examples too generic?
in the second paragraph, this
in the second paragraph, this is an example:
To begin with, the Amazon's jungle deforestation is a well known and pellucid case that can demonstrate the extend of the malicious impact on society due to a profit-biased corporational policy. The statistics usually do not lie, as the excessive number of acres of the Amazonean jungle that have been irreversibly sacrificed in the altar of money, also contributing to the Greenhouse effect, will continue to remind us of a legal corporational policy with profit as its primary concern.
in the third paragraph, you used 'oil corporations' as an example.
-----------------------------
Suggested patterns by testbig (you don't need to follow, however):
paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
---------------------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 660 350
No. of Characters: 3448 1500
No. of Different Words: 312 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.069 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.224 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.989 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 263 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 204 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 137 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 111 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.325 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5