In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

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In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

In term of whether children should handle money themselves, I agree with the statement that in order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. In this essay, I will elaborate my reasons.

First of all, it helps children to form the habit of managing money. One of the problem with those irresponsible adults on the issue of money is that they become reckless when they are making purchases. It is important to take your incomes and the true value of the product in to account when considering buying stuffs. But these questions are not the concerns of those people, they just buy things without care. By allowing children to handle some money when they are young, children can form a good habit of making reasonable purchases. Me myself is a bad example. Now that I have grown up I got a lot more money to spend compared to my childhood. But it also causes problems for me. Without the chance of learning how to deal with some money when I was young, I have a bad habit at using money. I buy things without thinking, and eventually find my many of the products I bought are of no use to me. I strongly feel that if I had had the chance to learn at a young age, things wound turn out different.

Second, it helps children to learn some skills of spending money. Not only is the awareness of managing money is important, but also the proper skills. And it is better to start training early and it can minimize the loses if things goes wrong. As adults instead of buy candies or toys we tend to buying things way more expensive, and if we unfortunately end up making a bad choice at buying things, the cost is much bigger. While for kids such failure is minor because a toy relatively cheap. What's more is that if children can get money from ''working'', such as cleaning the table for mom, they can learn much more.

In a nutshell, children can benefit a lot from learning to manage their own money at a young age and eventually become a financially responsible adults because it helps children to develop a habbit of managing money and skills too.

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One of the problem
One of the problems

Not only is the awareness of managing money is important, but also the proper skills.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

because a toy relatively cheap.
because a toy is relatively cheap.

Sentence: In a nutshell, children can benefit a lot from learning to manage their own money at a young age and eventually become a financially responsible adults because it helps children to develop a habbit of managing money and skills too.
Error: habbit Suggestion: habit

flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:
when
I was young,
I have a bad habit at using money.
I buy things without thinking, and eventually find my many of the products
I bought are of no use to me.
I strongly feel that if
I had had the chance to learn at a young age,

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 385 350
No. of Characters: 1684 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.43 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.374 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.393 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.842 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5