The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Each society Should plan proper and exact programs in order to prepare its young people for leadership. Because, inevitably, each nation need to effective leaders to progress and develop. To reach this goal, that is having great leaders, some people are of the view that society should encourage cooperative spirit in young people rather than competition while others feel competitiveness is a more important factor . Although, I think that both of this traits are significant in leadership, I do not believe in eliminating competitiveness.
First, it is obvious that competitiveness is one of the necessities to improve and reach higher position. one will get to the leadership of a group or corporation when has the sense of competition with others to have better condition and position,there are lots of other people that are ambitious of occupying such positions and one should compete them to gain the position. If a young person is not interested in compete and not want to enhance his/her situation so he does not make any attempt to grab opportunities and reach to higher levels as being leader of a group. Thus it could be said that competition is a prerequisite of being leader.
The other matter is that, Competition not only is essential to seize leadership positions but also it is beneficial to be an influential and competent leader . For example, once a header of a industry have the sense of competition try to boost the quality of their productions and promote policies that help to have higher sales than other competitors and be excel. Competitiveness makes one far-sighted and motives him to enhance the current condition. Competitive people due to their characteristics, usually are persistent and eager to reach worthy goals. So, competitiveness should be bolstered in young people in order to reach acme of success in leadership.
Also, it should be considered that competitiveness should be reasonable and do not lead one person to reach the goals in any way even by evil-doing or illegally actions. If It have been instilled in proper way, it even bring more cooperation between members of a group. An expert leader knows that to get better condition and prosperity should use others potentials and let them contribute in work and decision makings.
As a conclusion, due to the positive impacts that competition could have on being a leader, it should be instilled in young individuals of the society along with teaching the great consequences of cooperation.
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Sentence: Although, I think that both of this traits are significant in leadership, I do not believe in eliminating competitiveness.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and traits
Competition not only is essential to seize leadership positions but also it is beneficial to be an influential and competent leader
Competition is not only essential to seize leadership positions but also beneficial to be an influential and competent leader
once a header of a industry have the sense
once a header of a industry has the sense
Sentence: If a young person is not interested in compete and not want to enhance his/her situation so he does not make any attempt to grab opportunities and reach to higher levels as being leader of a group.
Description: The token in is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to in and compete
Sentence: Also, it should be considered that competitiveness should be reasonable and do not lead one person to reach the goals in any way even by evil-doing or illegally actions.
Description: The fragment or illegally actions is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace illegally with adjective
Sentence: An expert leader knows that to get better condition and prosperity should use others potentials and let them contribute in work and decision makings.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and potentials
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
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Don't always support one side. Argue both sides. Try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 2038 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.971 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.031 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.275 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5