Many students study choose to attend schools or universities outside their home countries. Why do some students study aboard?Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Education is the most important aspect in our lives. It determine our success and our social level. In order to achieve our academic goal, we have to attend university. Some students prefer to study abroad, others prefer to study in their local university. Studying abroad brings out many advantage.

First and for most, most students attend university in a foreign country to seek better universities’ facilities. In fact the vast majority from those students came from third world countries. And obviously universities’ facilities there are not enough to fulfill the ambition for many students. That why they travel even they would suffer the homesickness and the financial burden. Take my father’s experience as an example, he graduated from Damascus University, in 1980s and facilities in the local university couldn’t fulfill his desire. So he traveled to the USA to gain his dream and pursue the PHD degree. And in fact he did. My father’s experience taught me that studying abroad can hold many advantages like enjoying better facilities and earning higher degrees.

Another good reason which makes students to seek universities abroad is searching for a better quality of life. In a matter of fact, Better universities ensure-in most cases- better job opportunities. Consequently, this will lead to higher salaries and better life. For example, my cousin left our country five years ago after he finished his high school. He was able to attend a local university in his home. But there is no warranty to find a good job with a reasonable salary after graduation. This reason pushed him to attend Colorado University and achieve a degree in Information Technology. Which has opened a large door for him to have a good job easily with a great salary. As you can clearly see. Pursuing his education in a foreign developed country held a great opportunity to raise his complete life standard.

By the way of conclusion, Based on the argument explored above. I firmly concur that attending universities abroad can bring out many advantages. it can ensure a better facilities and a more recognizable degrees by which students can earn great job in the future. And they can have a better life quality in the long run.

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Sentence: It determine our success and our social level.
Description: The fragment It determine our is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace determine with verb, past tense

the vast majority from those students
the vast majority of those students

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.192 21.0

Be sensitive to use pattern sentences like 'By the way of conclusion, Based on the argument explored above. I firmly concur that'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1808 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.695 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.192 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.936 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.308 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.424 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

regarding these pattern sentences, I know a student who always use them, and she got 28 in the actual test. do you think that using these sentences might hurt my score?