The method of how children have fun is usually a hot topic that parents concerned about, especially with the emergence of various kinds of electronic media entertainment. Compared with playing computers or smart phones for fun, many people hold the statement that it’s better for children to follow the traditional entertainment ways with the consideration of children’s development, such as playing simpler toys and playing outside with friends. In my view, the method of children have fun through technology is not worse than through the latter one for children’s development.
On the one hand, technology offers more choices for children to make new friends and more sources for children to learn useful knowledge. Having the ability to make new friends is an important part in the children’s development. As we all know, many computer games need players to take part in groups to complete the game goals. When children play these kinds of electronic games, they need to communicate with their teammates and cooperate with teammates together to achieve the final game success. During this communication and cooperation, there exists high possibility for children to make new friends who share the same interests and similar values. Also, there are not only electronic games on the internet, there are also many useful knowledges. For example, my little niece is only 9 years old, she loves giant panda very much. She usually searches for the panda videos when she surfs the internet and she has learned many information about giant pandas from these videos. Since these videos often introduce some basic living habits about pandas.
On the other hand, playing simpler toys or playing outside activities are beneficial for children’s health. Having enough sports is very significant for children to keep mental and physical health, which also plays the critical role during the children’s development. When children play outside activities, such as playing football, playing basketball and even just chasing with each other, they have to run or jump. Therefore, while children are just playing outside activities with their friends, they also are doing some physical exercises. Furthermore, according to the common sense that sports are beneficial to people’s mental health, let alone it does to the children’s mental health. Appropriate physical exercises can simulate the mental development of children and make children become more confident and optimistic.
To sum up, there should be no prejudices against either of these two entertainment ways. Both having fun through technology and playing outside activities are helpful to the children’s development.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 580, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... latter one for children’s development. On the one hand, technology offers more ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 927, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
... surfs the internet and she has learned many information about giant pandas from the...
^^^^
Line 3, column 927, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much information', 'a good deal of information'.
Suggestion: much information; a good deal of information
... surfs the internet and she has learned many information about giant pandas from these videos. S...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 982, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...n about giant pandas from these videos. Since these videos often introduce some basic...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, so, therefore, while, for example, such as, in my view, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2275.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 416.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46875 4.8611393121 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81062869205 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519230769231 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 674.1 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.4289038802 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.75 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.35 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.483097819608 0.236089414692 205% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146061893266 0.076458572812 191% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114346557832 0.0737576698707 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.296776030417 0.150856017488 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0898433337653 0.0645574589148 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 10.9000537634 133% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.